tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-555274650815496201.post7339627333442416847..comments2023-07-05T05:03:33.255-04:00Comments on Publish, or Perish!: Forgot to do this Friday, wooops.-Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14945466553228253710noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-555274650815496201.post-42487018139388677942011-04-03T00:20:06.683-04:002011-04-03T00:20:06.683-04:00The visualization is mediocre. I'd say that th...The visualization is mediocre. I'd say that the front half was going smoothly, but the second half became more "tell" than "show". There are many ways to write about an accident, and "John was t-boned by a big rig 18 wheeler" in my opinion, isn't the most efficient one.<br />I suggest saying something like, "he saw an enormous 18 wheeler speeding his way." However, taking into account the fact that this was done in Mr. Greene's 10 minutes (which is more like 5 minutes,) the form is good.<br />I also suggest (this is only a suggestion to take at face value) that you cut down on the use of adverbs. A very strange creative writing teacher once told me; "The road to hell is paved with adverbs". Meaning, no matter how desperate the situation is, there will always be a verb that can substitute the original verb and adverb.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08014108951232400559noreply@blogger.com