tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-555274650815496201.post943598043837365933..comments2023-07-05T05:03:33.255-04:00Comments on Publish, or Perish!: Excerpt of The Mini, Magical Adventure of Arta and Friends-Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14945466553228253710noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-555274650815496201.post-3376063464365221712011-03-26T12:17:07.337-04:002011-03-26T12:17:07.337-04:00I do like the dialog, it seems to be natural. But ...I do like the dialog, it seems to be natural. But you need to work on your tense. You go from past to present multiple times. Try to stick with past. <br />Here's a little piece of advice that I think will help you: don't tell the reader, show the reader what's going on, who this character is, what this or that is, and why he or she does that.Super Robot Attackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09115964205796780996noreply@blogger.com