November 4, 2011
The day duct tape saved my life
I was sitting on the couch watching tv out on my patio because it was a nice day out and i finally realized that there were alot of misqtoes sworming around me. So i started to look for some duct tape to get them away because i heard that helps. I layed duct tape all around then i watched a little more tv. It was getting late and she was going to bed. I was getting up and i saw a couple of misqtoes on the duct tape dead. I was thinking to myself " oh it does work good." I went to bed and then the next morning i woke up and it was unbelieveable what i saw there was misqtoes everywhere on the duct tape dead. That was the day duct tape saved my life.
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I guess I can understand how duct tape could have saved your characters life but this piece was as dead as the mosiquitoes. There was little to no energy throughout the story, but it has a great body if you think of it! You have an idea going, so build off of that. Who is the refrence to 'she', why are the mosiquitoes swarming? Is there an ambush because you sprayed sugar and water on yourself instead of bug spray? Liven it up a bit and you'll have a really fun story. (:
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