Hero of Knights [EXERT]

Screams of pain echoed within the field, revealing the shadows from the past and future cursed the lands of Azeroth. Secrets revealed, and then lost once again. Citizens had taken their children to safety, only to be followed by darkness and slaughter of the innocent, while the darkness had to fight off forces of their own as well.

“Death Knights, rise before me.” A deep, dreadful tone that shook thousands to their knees in an instant by just a breath, spoke out before his soldiers. When he paused in his speech, his soldiers had done what they were told, as usual, standing up before their King.

“You have all done so well, serving me,” The King continued, his armor covered body taking only a few steps off to the side. Though he was covered in armor, the King never went into a battle. That’s what his Death Knights were for. Slaves of the undead, followers of darkness.

His blue mist eyes scanned the lines of knights, looking amongst many of them, seeing nothing but loyal servants. Where the King and his Knights were, not many people knew. They could only look up to the heavens to see dark clouds looming over Azeroth, or down past the grounds where the demons lurked in hiding.

The King and his nights hid above the grounds just south of New Avalon, using the Eye of Arachnis to see if they were being watched from every corner.

The power that the King held allowed a piece of his kingdom to hover above the ground by many feet, watching over the grounds that they fought on. This piece of his kingdom was named Ebon Hold. Black and blue were the only colors amongst the walls of this hell. Broken portals where his father led to Ogrimmar and Stormwind against the walls of the lower balcony, some of the walls had caved in onto the ground, or some had caved out falling past the black clouds that hid them.

“I hope, that one day, every single one of my Death Knights will become a hero of this retched land that many call Azeroth,” The King paused again, taking a breath as his left arm rose above his cloak, revealing a petite girl with the same blue mist eyes as her King. “just as Jorelia has done to this day.” His arm fell back to his side, turning his back to his Death Knights as Jorelia’s faded out blonde hair slowly drifted with the soft wind, her eyes piercing into the ‘souls’ of those in front of her.

The King looked down over the balcony, as if trying to sight the citizens of who they were watching above. The only close enough way they could see the fear in other’s eyes was to go down to Death’s Breech, which the Death Knights had taken over just south of New Avalon.

The King stayed planted where he stood, only looking over his shoulder slightly to his Knights of Darkness. “We must find what this ‘Agent Dawn’ is planning, and Jorelia will lead a group to find out by flying with my dragon,” As he spoke, a heavy wind grew though not one of the Knights flinched or even moved as a large skeleton dragon came into view, keeping itself hovering at the balcony where the King was. “to destroy New Avalon.” As his last words had been spoken, the Knights behind him cheered in victory at the deaths of all the innocent.

This is an exert from the NaNoWriMo story I'm doing. Yes, this is based on the Death Knights from World of Warcraft. This is the very beginning of the story when the main characters are introduced. Is there anything I should change/add?