This is a modern sonnet I wrote. No discernible rhyme scheme. Syllables are 9, 6, 9, 6. Put that into your own fancy vocabulary... Let me know what you think could be done better, if you like it, if I should just never show my face in the realm of poetry again... I'd love to shoot you down. :) Just kidding, all. Give me your criticism!
The moon looks so beautiful tonight.
I sit by the window
And watch the rays shine down on the rug,
Creating pale splotches.
Frisky cat swirls dust motes with her paws.
Winter snow outside shines,
Reflecting light through the frosty air,
Turning night to day.
Chill in the air seeps into my bones
Even behind these walls
That have kept me from harm my whole life.
They were once my refuge.
I learned long ago that
They cannot protect me from all things.
This would probably be a great poem...if I was deep enough to understand poetry at all. Just kidding, but seriously. (I mean like the poem would still be great but...well you get the gist...probably.) Anyways, I like the part about the cat. Does the moon have rays? I thought that was only the sun. I could be wrong though; I am frequently. So, to recap, I really like this poem. It makes sense and has a clear message, which I like, but it doesn't get to the point right away. It does keep you interested enough to read until you get to the point. So congratulations, you've successfully written a fabulous poem.
ReplyDeleteI like the details about the moon in the poem. The poem had nice details and created quite a visual as I read it. I also like how you said at the end that the walls of your room couldn't keep you safe from the outside world.
ReplyDelete