It comes once a year,
Some day that everyone becomes full of cheer,
People tell others about what is almost near,
It's a day you have to listen for and hear.
It's Christmas eve and the mood is very bright,
Putting up the Christmas tree and those colorful lights,
The vibes in everyone seem full of delight,
For which everyone knows whom is going to come tonight.
Presents, eggnog, and the joy of love,
God is going to be happy as his birthday gift is celebrated above,
Angels come down to celebrate laughter,
As we all open our gifts and live the rest of the day happily ever after.
I love the Christmas theme here. It really is a joyful time of the year, and I think you can really feel that in your poem. I also really like how you say "vibes" in the second stanza, that makes the poem a little more personable. :) The only thing I might change would be that a lot of your rhymes are kind of simple. The whole first stanza is the "-eer" sound, which is a smart thing to do if you're like me and cannot write poetry to save your soul, but I think you have a lot of potential. Try challenging yourself with some more tricky words.
ReplyDeleteHello, fellow Christmas fan. I would like to commend and congratulate you on catching the entire essence of Christmas in these three short stanzas. It really has a joyful tone which I appreciate. As for improving, I agree with Rachel. I think that your rhymes could have been a little more advanced. At least, I would suggest that you change the rhyme scheme in the first stanza from A, A, A, A to A, A, B, B like the rest of them. I think a continuous rhyme flow would add a greater sense of rhythm which would add to the holiday theme. It would almost make it seem like a holly, jolly Christmas carol which is pretty cool. Also, I think a better title could help this poem out. “Christmas” is a little boring considering the excitement created with your poem. Perhaps you could name it with an excerpt from your poem such as “Full of Cheer” or something of that nature. Overall, great work!
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