December 13, 2011

Under The World We Know Intro

Another Excerpt from the novella/short story I'm writing. I'm finally giving you the beginning. Enjoy, comment, tell me how to improve, what I should have done, or just how you like my characters.

Inside a small dusty room, rich with the smell of mold and decay lay two brothers. Each was huddled under a separate pathetic sheet of recycled cloth trying to shoo away the chill of an Illinois night at the Orphanage. Carson on the left cot had straight brown hair that sprayed out in static anarchy across his pillow less bed. His feet stuck out from underneath his blanket revealing scars from years of running through bramble, rocks, and forests barefoot. Hidden underneath the blanket stretched the length of his back was a deep scar given to him by a clumsy Miner who had swung his pic around in a wide dangerous arch. Carson had been able to push his brother out of the way, but he was unable to avoid a deep gash across his back. Next to his bed was a table; on it was a single candle holder. The wax making a deep gooey lake at the base of it where the candle used to be. On the other side of the bed splitting the attic room in two was a large window, half smashed long ago from a tree. The tree had been removed but the window was not fixed. It let in a heavy draft and made Bion the other brother shiver under his identical cot blanket combo. Bion was the younger, he had hair like his brother’s, but his was cut shorter. Carson had stolen a pair of scissors a while back and kept them in the table drawer, always ready to cut his brother’s hair if it was getting too wild.

It was a nice night; moonless, clear, cold but not bone chilling cold; Bion was tossing and turning in his cot. He would emit slight whimpers from time to time and underneath lids his eyes flipped around rapidly. When in a sudden fit he shot upright, screaming. His brow soaked with sweat, even in the cold. Carson was immediately awake, hopping out of bed to shake his brother back into reality. “Bion! Bion! Get ahold of yourself!” He shouted at his brother, “It’s just a dream, you’re fine.”

“Ca.. Carson?” Then Bion’s eyes focused and he shook the dream away from his conscious. “Oh, I just had the worst nightmare ever. It was so awful.”

Carson sat down next to his brother on his bed. He was tired but he knew that the dream would keep Bion awake all night, so he started rubbing his hand calmly over his brother’s back. “Tell me about it.”

“It was horrible Carson, it started off in a city, but not a normal city. It seemed like it was ancient but everything was brand new, like shiny and stuff. I was running down a street and people were running after me. They were dressed in metal and had odd shapes on their chest, like one had a square, another, a set of rectangles. Another had a triangle on his chest. He seemed to be in charge. And I was running, running as fast as I could. And there was someone running beside me, but it wasn’t you.”

“Wasn’t me? Then who was it?”

“I’m not sure, it was a girl. But I don’t know any girls.” Then he looked up at his brother, a tear dripping down his eye. “And we didn’t get away.”

“They caught you?”

“Yea, and they wouldn’t let go, no matter how hard I struggled or screamed they wouldn’t let go. And then I woke up. It was so horrible Carson”

Carson stroked his brother’s hair, “Don’t worry Bion, it was just a dream. Not real, but damn, you have some imagination.” Then Carson looked outside the broken window. The sun was starting to rise and paint streaks of pink in the sky. Morning was coming, “Come on, no use going back to bed when it’s almost time for us to wake up. Might as well just start the day early.” He stood up from his brother’s cot and went to make his. Or at least arrange the rag more neatly.



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