I wrote this for Writing Exercise 4, the day of the crazy lockdown drill!!!!! Should I make the death more dramatic? Should I make the dinosaur more fun with the kids? Should I change the ending since it's kind of boring and lazy. Holla @ me
We had been sitting in the corner for what seemed like forever. However, that may have just been because I had to fart really badly. I had been trying to hold it in during this completely silent lockdown drill. Apparently, we had been sitting there for over an hour. my teacher got annoyed so he decided to go into the hallway to see what was going on. As he opened the door and stepped outside, a giant real life dinosaur came and ate him. Usually, this would probably be considered a traumatic experience or something but everyone hated this guy so it wasn't anything that upsetting. Also, there was a dinosaur chillen in the hallway so that was awesome. We decided to go and check it out. If we died, we would only be missing a Physics test and Taco Tuesday at lunch. THe dinosaur turned out to be really cool! He gave us all rides around the school and even let us take pictures with him for our new Myspace defaults. After an hour or two of the play, the dinosaur left the building and everything went back to normal.
Hahaha this sounds like a pretty casual day. I feel like itd be better if the dinosoar talked to the kids, but atleast he was cool enough to give them new myspace defaults. Maybe for the ending, when the dinosoar leaves, the kids can go with it and never come back? Orrr the dino can stay and replace Greene and teach the class? (:
ReplyDeleteThis story is cool and fun. The whole fart situation. Everyone has been there. That is so relatable. Even if its not during a lock down drill, there has been a time in every person's life where they have to rip a big one, but it's dead silent. I honestly think you could have gotten a little more creative with your teachers death. I would suggest maybe just adding a little more description such as "the dinosaur ripped off our teachers head and threw it across the room." That is entertainment. I like that you put a Taco Tuesday reference in here. Although, I do not appreciate you undermining its importance. If it was Taco Tuesday in real life, no dinosaur would stop anyone from getting that meaty, cheesy piece of heaven goin' down their throat. JS. Also, amen to the Myspace defaults. I think it's cool that you added that in. Myspace just does not ever get the praise it deserves. Great job, boo! <3
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