Starring at a blank computer screen for twelve minutes... well it makes you think. For example, a girl might think of something that had embarassed and shocked her earlier that day. Or maybe a boy would think of how to tell his parents big news, like how he just found out his girl friend is pregnant and it's his. A mother could be thinking about why she left her husband and infant twins year's and year's ago... now i'm thinking about how to get out of it too. Maybe all of these things are happening at the same exact time.
Maybe I should start from the beginning... it all began when my mother and father met in new york city, both attracked to each other instantly, both knowing themselves enough to know that nothing could come from the attraction. But it's not like that stopped them... and look at the mess we have now.
This is my fifth writing exercise and it started off when I couldn't think of anything to write about, and it just kind of turned into this. Did you like it? Did it make you want to continue reading? Any suggestions?
Whaaaaaaaaaat? I thought this was a very good intro. It made me wonder what in the world was going on. The second paragraph kind of got me going, like, alright, something's about to happen. But then nothing happened, it ended. I need to know, which ridiculous situation is the main character going through!!! I have a poop-load of suggestions for you. For one, keep it going, take this story to a whole new level. Tell me what this character is going through, maybe she's an alien lost in northwest Nebraska. Second, check spelling, trust me, I'm a firm believer in spelling any word the way I want it, but THE MAN wants us all to conform to specified spellings of words. Yes, I agree that it's uncalled for, for words to be forced into being spelled a certain way, in fact it's straight up racist against words. Third and final suggestion, think about how the story flows. There should be another paragraph between these two. It seems to start questioning the universe and then jumps into the story. Perhaps get more in depth about the characters problem before you go to the back story. Other than that, nice job there buddy.
ReplyDeleteshanksssssssssssss Jon =]
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