Yo, homies! This is the stuff I wrote for Writing Exercise 8. It's about my man Manheim and his feline friend. What else can I do to make this story more hilarious? Does it flow alright? Let me, boyz and girls
p.s. happy birthday to my main ginger, Heather Archambault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I hadn't eaten that stapler," Jon said as he sat in a hospital bed. "I was just so hungry, I couldn't help myself!" His parents and various doctors stared at him in confusion. "So of all the things you could've eaten," his dad said, "you chose a stapler." Jon began to cry tears of shame disappointing his Jewish father. He had made the terrible mistake of eating a stapler and now the stapler had come apart inside of his body and little staples were traveling throughout his body. The doctors had already performed a number of procedures but nothing seemed to work. This might be the end, Jon thought to himself. Just then, a young kitten hopped up beside him. "Hey, little guy," Manheim whispered to his new feline friend. Jon saw a glimmer of hope in its eyes. He could tell that this kitten would save his life. So, he did what anybody else would have done in this situation... he ate the cat. It went down a lot smoother than expected. The kitten began cleaning Jon's insides. Besides for pooping out staples for a month and periodically meowing, eating the kitten worked out great. The doctors couldn't figure out how he survived and he was now a miracle. However, Manheim later sprouted tails and ears at age 27. He lived in the forest and no one ever saw him again.
I am such a fan. I thought it was pretty realistic, I feel like kittens save people from deaths pretty often these days! I feel bad for the cat though, it was prhbably just trying to like cheer Jon up and then it got eaten :( But so true about the Jewish father, one wrong move like eating a stapler and you are disowned forever. Also, I feel like if this did happen to Jon, everything that you described would probably happen, so I hope he appreciates your quality work here. Lovin it.
ReplyDeleteThis is far too accurate a description of my life.....how did you find out about this? I thought it was comical. Didn't really see how the Jewish father being upset about a stapler fit in? Didn't really make sense to the story. Other than that, I thought it was a good tale. The beginning was sad, for I was dying in a hospital bed. Then the kitten got into the hospital, because if movies have taught us anything, it's that animals can get into any building and any room no matter where the location. While I am allergic to cats, I'll admit I can't resist a cute kitty when I see one, so the part about me immediately loving the kitten is believable. As for eating the kitty, that also makes sense. The second I read the line about knowing the cat was going to save my life, I was like, "I'm going to eat it." and then BAM! I ate it. I loved the story homie, keep reppin' the streets. You give G's like me hope, knowing fame hasn't hurt your game. Keep it up balla.
ReplyDeleteThis story is hilarious. I bet Jon does eat kittens and staplers in his spare time.... but seriously, it was very amusing. I would like to read a little more background and explanation for the plot. Why did Manheim eat the stapler? Is there a famine going on or something, or was it just sitting there, looking delicious? Also, how did the kitten get into a hospital?? I volunteer in one and I know that if a kitten just walked through the front door, it would make it about two feet before being caught by security. There's a lot of ways to go with it, like maybe the kitten lived in the pipes or something. Overall, it was a good read. Keep up the comedy, my friend.
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