The Magic Doorknob

Yesterday, I was walking home from school. Little did I know, the coolest things I could possibly imagine would happen when I got to my house. I was exhausted from a long day, so when I got home, it took me a few tries to open the front door. I tried turning the doorknob to the left. It didn't open. Then I tried turning it right. The door was still stuck. I banged on the door, then spun around in a circle. Suddenly, the door flew open and a unicorn greeted me. "Hello," she said. "Welcome to Doorknobia, the land of the doorknobs." "What? How did I get here?" I asked, confused. "I was just trying to get inside my house." "You discovered the magic doorknob. All you had to do was turn it left, then right, then bang on the door and turn in a circle," the unicorn explained. I stared at the unicorn. There was a flash of light, and then the unicorn exploded. This made it rain pizza. It was the coolest thing ever, until a turtle bit my head off. Actually, come to think of it, that was definitely a dream.

Hungry Kevin

It had been three weeks since Kevin Humphrey had last eaten a cheeseburger. He was on a diet because he wanted to impress the new girl at work. He was walking home from the store one night when he saw a woman. The woman was sitting on a bench, alone. She was crying. Kevin was about to stop and talk to her out of concern, but his roommate called him called him just then and he rushed home. When he got to his apartment, his roommate told him that there was no more food left. The roommate and his friends had already finished it all. Kevin went to bed, hungry, and he thought of the woman. As he slept, her sadness haunted him like moonlight on a discarded cheeseburger wrapper.