Percy Winkly

This was a writing exercise I did for class. What do you think of the story and how could I make it more funny?

Percy Winkly is no longer with us, or, at least no longer living. Percy had died a few years ago in a tragic but extremely informative Hadron Collider accident. Percy was split into billions of atoms which then collided with each other and eliminated themselves from existence. From Percy's perspective the whole event was utterly terrifying. from the scientist's, who were watching the spectacle safe inside their lab, perspective the event looked extremely similar to a Forth of July party. Poor Percy was undoubtedly dead, but then something amazing happened. The molecules that made up Percy's conscious managed to get there act together, decided to settle their differences, and shot into space. There they collided with a passing trans-dimensional being. Unfortunately this species of life form can only be seen in our dimension through the lens of a camera which is wielded by the cast of a popular science fiction TV show who call themselves "ghost hunters". Percy's conscious easily took over the beings mind as trans-dimensional being who hang around this part of the universe are usually pretty dull. Percy admired his new sense of reality for a moment before returning to Earth. Without the limitations of his body and the constant disapproval from his peers Percy quickly discovered the answers to all of life's mysteries. Unfortunately for humanity Percy's attempts to reveal the answers only served to boost the TV show's ratings.

Under The World We Know Part 6

Alright this time I'm awake and rearing to add some more depth to the story. I'm also experimenting with a more descriptive writing style. Something more Harry Potter type. So please tell me how you liked it and the usual assortment of suggestions of plot development.

Now that they were safe inside the cave Bion had a chance to look around. The cave was a great assortment of minerals, aside from the gaping hole at the end of course. But it wasn’t the exact minerals that the mining company wanted. It would be far too easy of a day to just be able to find what they needed in a matter of minutes. No, the brothers were going to have to traverse deeper into the labyrinths of cave; luckily Bion remembered where to go. He motioned to his brother and they walked over to where he had tied the rope to the granite. A little ways beyond that was a slight step-like path to another cave that wrapped down and around the chasm. So they would have to stand close to the wall and inch their way across, but it was the only way they could go. Carson placed his hand on his little brother’s shoulder, “Don’t worry Bion, its safe enough; just don’t slip.” And with that he patted him on the back and took a step in front to lead. Bion followed close behind, near enough that he could grab onto his brother if either of them fell, but not close enough that he was treading on his heels. And, with a reproachful sigh from Bion, they walked forward, into the darkness of new mystery.

As they walked rocks crunched underfoot and fell off into the chasm leaving dust still left hovering in the air. Bion kept his hand on the smooth wall to steady himself the whole way. Occasionally looking into the darkness for the ledge Carson had landed on. Not a word had passed between the brothers until Bion saw a twinkling light in the dark. “Carson, look over there,” He pointed, “It’s the ledge, you left a flashlight on it.”

Carson squinted in the dark, “Yea, I took out my mini light to see where I was, I must have left it on. It’s too late now though; unless you want to be the one to go back and get it.” Bion shook his head vigorously and Carson laughed at his brother’s enthusiasm. “Didn’t think so, let’s just keep going. The battery should wear out in a few days anyway.” So they kept inching along slowly making their way to the opening at the end of the path.

When they reached the safety of open cave Bion threw himself in, almost falling on his face in the process. Carson let out another chuckle but immediately started scanning the place looking for possible minerals and other optional caves. It looked at lot like the last cave they had been in but this one had an odd shaped passageway hidden towards the back. Shaped like a doorway it was scarcely taller than the boys, maybe five feet and a few inches. It was worn away as if by water, but Bion took out his flashlight and examined it even closer. “Carson, it looks like someone did this with tools.”

“How can you tell?”

“Well, look here.” He pointed at a spot that was a slight different color and texture that its counterparts, “Groves, as if someone ground it away slowly. It would have taken some care to be able to make this look so natural. Unless it was done a while ago and eroded through time.” Bion looked up at his brother with an awed expression, “Do you think we’re stumbling on and ancient civilization?”

Carson crouched down next to his brother and looked at the groves, “Well if we do, they better at least give us some time off or something.”

The Real Villain of Oz

This is a writing exercise we did in Mr. Greene's second block Creative Writing
class. The last line had to be, "The man had a laugh like dry corn
husks." Tell me what you think. :)

"Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road!"
Dorothy sang quietly to herself. "Oz seems like such a nice
place." She thought as she skipped.
"Woof, woof!" Toto's high-pitched bark broke through her pleasant
thoughts. "What is it, Toto?" She said, scanning the surrounding
forest. Something metallic caught her eye in the midday sun. "Squeak...
squeak..." Dorothy felt fear drop into her stomach like a rock. What could
this robotic creature be?
"Yip, yip!" Toto persisted, nudging a can toward her. She picked it
up and read the label."Oil..." Looking hesitantly from her dog to the
creature, she decided to pour some on the metal beast and hope for the best.
She trusted Toto, he was pretty smart for such a little dog.
"Aaah!" The beast sighed, stretching his arms over his head.
"Thank you! I really appreciate it, but we have got to get out of here,
and I mean pronto. I'd love to explain, but there's really no time. I was
trying to warn you earlier." "Warn me about what?" The young
girl's eyes were wide ovals set into her freckled face. "Is it that Wicked
Witch I've heard so much about?" She asked. "No." The Tin Man
said. "Much worse. Come on, we need to leave!" He said, grabbing her
wrist and starting to run down the road.
Suddenly, they stopped dead in their tracks. Standing before them was a tall,
lanky man in baggy overalls. Hay littered the road around him and poked through
his clothes.The man lifted his sagging head and adjusted his hat, revealing his
cold, black eyes. Dorothy glanced nervously at the Tin Man, who was breathing
heavy. Why was he so afraid of someone who appeared to be made of straw?
Dorothy guessed she would soon find out.
An evil smile creased his cloth face. The thin man had a laugh like dry corn
husks.

james bad day

James was having a horrible day.
First block he got to school late, and missed half of first block, which meant he also missed the big test, which counted for twenty percent of his grade! then he got an F in second block, and got his phone taken away in third, and his mom would have to come and get it after school. he lost his lunch money, and he had missed breakfast that morning. in fourth block he threw-up, even though his stomach was pretty much empty, and then he missed his bus back home. his mother had forbidden him to walk home, so then he had to wait at the school until six o'clock, outside in the rain. when James finally got home, he fell asleep doing homework. of course, he woke up at exactly eleven fifty-five.
James had a horrible day, but as the clock struck twelve, the best day of his life began.

Same Secret

This is the beginning of my last short story, Same Secret. Are Dave and Rachel's thoughts too simliar? If so, how can I make them more different? Please comment.

“What do I do?” Dave thought as he jogged along his usual route through the park. Dave always ran when he needed to think. “This one is different,” he thought. “It’s not every day a person has to make a decision this important. I just can’t choose. I don’t know if I really want to.” Dave was thinking about moving to Chicago. He had gotten a really great job opportunity. He was sure that his girlfriend wouldn't move with him. She loved it there too much. She had a great job and lots of friends in the area. “It really is a great opportunity though,” Dave thought. He couldn't have asked for a better job. He would get to be the manager of the Chicago branch of his company. He would hate himself forever if he didn't give this a shot.
He didn't want to leave his girlfriend though. Maybe they could work out in a long distance relationship, but he wasn't sure how great that would be. "I should probably ask her about it," Dave thought. "I mean, it's only right to include her in this decision.” She might be thinking about their relationship too. If Dave didn't include her now, this could have horrible consequences. She was definitely the jealous type, and he didn't want her to think that something was going on with another girl. They had been dating for a long time, they were pretty seriously involved, and he didn't want her to think that it wasn't as important to him as it was to her. "Ugh, what am I going to do?" Dave realized he had been talking out loud. Unfortunately, he hadn't realized it until that moment, when everyone in the park turned to stare at him.
“What do I do?” Rachel thought as she jogged along her usual route through the park. Rachel always ran when she needed to think. “This one is different,” she thought. “It’s not every day a person has to make a decision this important. I just can’t pick.” She just couldn’t figure out what to do. Rachel was thinking about moving to Chicago. She had gotten a really great job opportunity. She knew that her boyfriend wouldn’t move with her. He had so many connections to the area. Dave grew up there. His family lived nearby and they were really close. He also had a bunch of friends in the area. He wouldn’t want to leave his favorite childhood spots and his little brother. She couldn’t ask him to move, she didn’t want to ask him to uproot his life like that.
“It really is a fantastic opportunity,” Rachel thought. She couldn’t have asked for a better job. She would get to be the head of the design department at her company. She knew she would regret it forever if she didn’t give it a shot. On the other hand, she really didn’t want to leave her boyfriend. They might be able to work it out in a long distance relationship, but she wasn’t so sure. From the stories Rachel had heard, long distance relationships always ended badly.
“He wouldn’t even be that bad off without me,” she thought. “He has a ton of friends, he doesn’t need me.” Actually, that was one of the major things she was worried about. What if he didn’t care that she was leaving? What if he got a new girlfriend the next day? Rachel didn’t want to keep thinking about this. It was making her sick. He probably would get another girlfriend right away. She knew that all he could hook up with any of his girl friends if he wanted to. She also knew that he wouldn’t do it while he was in a relationship. He wasn’t a horrible person, but her moving away would give him the perfect out. A clean break.
She was probably just being paranoid. “I should probably ask him about it,” Rachel thought. “I mean, it’s only right to include him in the decision. If he really does want to break up with me, then I have no reason to stay here.”

outlife for the first small parts of my project for NANOWRIMO

Scene one: McCray and Morris are getting ready for a street fight with the Vesetti’s. McCray is being cocky and joking about it the rest of the group including, Tommy, Joey, and Mitch joke around too. they get their bags ready with guns, bats, and sludge hammers. They also have bleach. They get in their car and make their way.

Scene two: Everyone in the car is quiet until McCray starts a prayer. Everyone joins in. McCray says some words of inspiration. They remember why they are doing this and get ready to kick the crap and kill the people who messed up Valerie (friend of the family Sister to McCray)

Scene three: The boys get out of the car guns loaded and are into the house. They kill two men at the door and make their way upstairs. One by one they clear the main floor and make their way upstairs. The upper floor is made up of a kitchen that wraps around into a family room on the other side of the wall. They make their way around thinking Vesetti’s son may be up there. Morris accidently takes a shot and kill McCray who was climbing up the fire escape to get a sneak attack going. His body falls onto a dumpster below.

Davey's Secret Back Track

All this shit melted together this one summer night. Fireworks, beer cans, and ganja were the main highlights of the other partiers, but, mine was a little different.

A buddy of mine was throwing this crazy party at his old mans lake house for the 4th of July, so naturaly, the entire school knew about it even after classes had ended. I was pumped to get my smush on and drink and smoke into a whole nother world. I packed my car with funnels, bongs, red cups, ect. for my buddy. I do what I can to help out, you see.

By the time I rolled into the driveway, he had music blaring, three beer pong tables set up and about sixty people already there. Girls with bikini tops on and guys in wife beaters. Everyone had drinks in one hand and a smoke in the other.

After doing shot after shot, I decided to check on the ladies, to see if their looks had inproved since my liquor binge. Sarah caught my eye almost immediately. She had always got me going, but especially tonight. After flirting and making out on the couch for a while, I made the most adult decision of my life. I brought her up to the bedroom.

I'm sure you can only imagine what happened next. We went at it like fucking animals and it was amazing, I'm sure. After we finished up, we left on a good note. We had always been close, so, nothing was going to change after tonight. Right?

Four weeks later, I get a call from a number I don't reconize. To my suprise, it was Sarah. She was asking me about the night of the party and if we had used a condom. I wanted to shit myself. She was pregnant. That's what you get when you hit it and quit it after assuming she's on the pill.

I played it like Shaggy for a while, saying I wasn't the one who got her pregnant, but, I manned up. But, only to Sarah. To everyone else, it wasn't my kid. Hell no, she was probably a slut and the kid was probably going to turn out black or asian. Word got back to her that I was covering my ass and now, I've gotten the silent treatment for over a month. I guess I deserved it. Fuck my life.

Mr. Greene and a hooker

As Mr.Greene approached the car it started to tick and the car was extremly hot. He had so much duck tape in his pocket from earlier, tying down his hooker. We all knew he had a goodnight. He takes his tape and wraps it around the handle of the car to try and open the door. The tape melts and he tries again and finally gets it open with so much duck tape. Now hes gotta stop the bomb in the car, he pulls out his 1000 yard thing of tape and wraps it around the bomb, drives to his ex wifes house and it blows up sounding like a old lady fart.

Raiden's Last Hand Part II

Tommy Vercetti was doing well. He had won the last couple of hands. Remarkably, the game was completely devoid of cheating, but the tension between the gangster and the other four gunmen was still running sky high. Snake had pulled out his SOCOM when Tommy pulled the straight out of nowhere, but the play was legit. He had gotten lucky, but there was still money to win. The game was seven card stud, his deal. There were no wild cards. All the players received two cards down, and he dealt out the remaining cards on top. Snake had a nine up. Master Chief received a jack. Max Payne got a six. Max barely glanced at his cards below. He was sitting on his winnings for now, it seemed. Raiden got a ten, and Tommy Vercetti himself received an ace of spades. Vercetti looked below his hand. There was a seven of hearts and a ten of spades. Nothing.

Tommy flashed a cocky grin. “Well ladies, I think I’ll start this one with forty.”

Snake and Master Chief matched his bet without even thinking about it. Max Payne simply turned his cards over. Ordinarily Tommy might resent that kind of behavior, but in this case he was grateful. Raiden matched his bet, and didn't bother to raise. Tommy dealt out the next round of cards.

Snake received a four, and Master Chief received another jack, doubtlessly bolstering his confidence.

“Wonderful. I picked a good time for a bluff. No choice but to keep going.” He thought.

Raiden got a deuce, which was no help in that game. Tommy flipped down the last card. It was the king of spades. He looked around the table. He had the ten of spades himself. Neither of the jacks on the table were in spades thankfully. If anyone had one though-it was all over for him. He had the makings of a straight flush on the table, a shaky one though. Vercetti smiled and leaned back. Master Chief had the only real hand on the table with a pair of jacks. It was his bid first. Vercetti would let the cyborg set the tone for this one. Chief bet another forty, and Vercetti chose to simply call the bet. He couldn't make it look like he was trying to get them all to fold. Raiden and Snake stayed in as well. Vercetti looked more closely at their hands. Both had the makings of a flush, if their cards below matched the ones above.

The next set of cards went out again. Snake and Raiden got a card outside their choice suits, and Master Chief received an eight. The sight appeared to please him. Vercetti sighed and laid down his card. It was the queen of spades.

Vercetti let his eyes bug out. It wasn't hard to do. He had the ace, king, and queen of spades sitting on the table, with the ten underneath. The others had to be sweating. The next set of cards went out again. Snake and Raiden got a card outside their choice suits, and Master Chief received an eight. The sight appeared to please him. Vercetti sighed and laid down his card. It was the queen of spades. Vercetti let his eyes bug out. It wasn't hard to do. He had the ace, king, and queen of spades sitting on the table, with the ten underneath. The others had to be sweating

Master Chief looked at him, worried, and muttered, “I’ll pass.”

Raiden shook his head. “Check.”

Vercetti tried to look like he was suppressing a smile. “Not bad at all girls. That’s enough to make my snake solid. A hundred to stay in.”

Snake quickly matched his bluff. Master Chief hesitated and look at his cards, but threw in the chips anyways. Raiden did the same. Vercetti smiled. Two more to go…

The last card went out. Snake found himself with a deuce. His hand was looking more and more useless by the minute. Master Chief received an ace. And Tommy himself got a three of hearts. Great.

Master Chief looked at his hand and laughed at Tommy. "Eh, you're full of it." The Chief started rolling thousands of dollars in chips onto the table. Vercetti groaned inwardly. He had nothing to go on, and clearly Master Chief wasn't going to give up. Snake threw his hand down before the bidding even got to him. Chief looked at Vercetti, and began to move his arm in the direction of the pot

Vercetti grinned and widened his eyes. He threw in the necessary chips with a casual flick. "Excellent. But not nearly enough. How about we make this a little more personal.

“Don’t have anything worth that much.”

Vercetti rolled his eyes. "What I want from you is personal. I need a favor from you on the shady side of the law, let's say." His mind raced, trying to think of something that Chief would never agree to. "If I win, I want you to help me out with another contestant. I want you to reprogram KOS-MOS on my behalf.

Vercetti held his breath. Chief looked at him with a mix of disgust and curiosity. The cyborg sized him up slowly. “Please, no…no please,” the Chief thought, very worried.

But finally, said “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

Vercetti exhaled and groaned. This was not good. He'd just humiliated himself and thrown most of his cash way. He allowed his shoulders to slouch. Grimly, he tossed the last card down at Chief, and laid his card in front of himself

It was the jack of spades. He…had…the jack of spades. He had a natural royal flush!

Vercetti couldn't even try to keep his face straight. He was beyond caring what Chief thought. He grinned at Chief and threw his entire stack into the pot. "That's more money than you'll make in a year. You just give me all you have and we'll call it even.

Chief looked at him in surprise. Slowly he shook his head and laughed. "All right, what have you got?"

Vercetti excitedly flipped his cards over. "Let's see, you already know the ace, king, and queen of spades...I have the three of hearts... ten of spades, seven of hearts, and my personal favorite... the jack of spades. Hey, what do you know, that makes a royal flush."

Four pistols were instantly pointed at his head again. Chief didn't even bother revealing his full house. Tommy couldn't keep the freaking grin off his face. "Read 'em and weep gentlemen."

Tommy scooped up the chips as Snake and Master Chief counted the cards. Max shook his head in disbelief. Raiden was just stunned. He held his gun motionless in the air.

"Might want to put that thing down, kid." Chief said absently. Chief looked back and forth between the cards and Tommy, and stared at both in disbelief. Tommy realized he'd been sweating.

“If this kind of luck keeps up I may have to consider going legit. Nah.”

"I saw it myself, and I don't believe it," Snake said, shaking his head. "Vercetti won a game legally."

Vercetti grinned. "You owe me a favor too, Chief, don't forget." He looked over his winnings again. Not bad.

Saying Goodbye- Ending Excerpt

This is an excerpt from one of the short stories I wrote in class. The short story is actually just a small piece of a novel I want to eventually start writing. Just tell me what you think, if you'd be able to do what my character Shane does, and whether or not you think Kathryn did the right thing by telling Matthew the truth.

Kathryn knew she didn’t want to have to let him go, not again, but she also knew there was nothing she could do to help him. She slipped back into the room, knowing she’d have to deliver the message no one ever wanted to give a patient, especially when there was a connection like this one.
“Matthew,” she said quietly, her eyes closed as she took his hand in a comforting manner. She couldn’t deny the sparks she felt when she touched him. Maybe that was part of the reason she didn’t want to have to tell him that he wasn’t going to make it. She knew he was staring at her, probably questioning the tears that were beginning to flow down her face.
“I’m not going to make it, am I?” He asked, his voice calm. She hated how he seemed to be so alright with what was going on in his life. Years ago, he would have begged her to keep him alive, so that he could hold her and keep her safe. She kept this thought strong as Amanda walked in, the one person she needed at that moment.
“Matthew…” Kat couldn’t think, and it all just spewed out, mixed with tears and emotions. “No, Matt, you aren’t going to make it. You only have a few more days with the care we can give, and there’s so much more to it than that… I have a story for you, but you need to listen carefully.”
Accepting his fate, Matthew nodded, and Kathryn began to tell her tale.
“Years ago, I was dating a guy going off to basic training. I got scared. I wrote him letters all the time, but there was nothing I could do to keep myself from needing him around. Then he got shipped off for nine-eleven, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. That was it, I just had to leave. And I did. I ended things with him through a letter, the words I wrote haunting me up until this day.”Kathryn stopped for a momentary breath and then continued. “Matthew, I’ve always loved you. I never wanted to leave but I was scared and I didn’t think you would be able to ever come home. How could I have lived knowing you lost your life long before I got to see you again? So I gave up, and wrote you that letter telling you I couldn’t do it anymore. And I’ve regretted it since. I love my boyfriend, but you were my first love and always will be the person my heart truly belongs to… Oh, Matt… I wish I could’ve told you sooner.”
Tears dripped from Matthew’s eyes. Amanda stood, shocked at the fact that Kathryn finally came out with the truth that had been eating at her since Matthew and Damien were admitted.
“Kathryn… My Kathryn…” Matthew let the words play off his tongue and then pulled her into his arms. He kissed her over and over again, even through the physical weakness he got from his wounds. Kathryn finally pulled away, knowing that should Shane walk in, her entire world could plummet. But she was too late.
Shane stood in the doorway, opening his arms for Kathryn to run over to him. But she didn’t. She stayed with Matt, her arms around him in the frantic embrace of lovers that know their time has come. Just then, the heart monitor that Matthew was hooked up to began to emit one long beep, and Kat held him closer, their hands clasped over her heart.
“The last moments of Matthew’s life were spent with the one he loves,” Shane said, pulling Kathryn into his arms, away from her deceased first love. Kathryn looked up at him in confusion. “I love you, Kat, you know I do, but I would never have taken you away from that.”
“Oh, Shane, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t be, love. When we admitted him, I knew this would happen. And that’s why I let you hold him while he passed. I know you love him, but you love me, too. And that’s why you’re here with me,” Shane told her calmly as he stroked her hair. “What you just did with him is something I would never have been able to do with you. You lost your first love and we both know saying goodbye is the hardest part.”

Poor James

What's up guys!! Hope ur week has been super cool! Here's a sweet little poem I wrote about a guy named James who had a bad day. Let me know what you think? Do you like the rhyme scheme?? Any ideas for an alternate ending?? THANKS GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


James was having a very bad day
Nothing was going his way
He sat down to cry
He had poop in his eye
What would the other kids say

In order to save himself
James called for help from his elf
He came in a hurry
To ease James' worry
The little guy brought him a shelf

Put your eye on here he said
Just pop it out of your head
It won't hurt much
With a gentle touch
Otherwise, you'll have to forever lay in bed

"Oh no! Oh dear! I can't do it!"
But he had to relieve his eye from the shit
He manned up
Dropped it in a cup
And right down on the couch he did sit

After that James put on a smile
He hadn't done that in a while
The poop was away
Oh, happy day
Until he played in another poop pile

Manheim's Creation

This was exercise 36 brought to you in part by Jon Manheim. Tell me if you like, if there's any things I should change, and if you think it makes sense. Any sense? Probably not, but that's a given :) Take it as you will.

The cake was moist and delicious. It was a masterpiece to behold. Not only was it covered in double chocolate frosting, but what lay beneath it's superfical surface of coating was dripping hot fudge. It was like an allegory for temptation and gluttony in our society. In a case it sat, staring at it's customers in the bakery shop.

Men were bidding hundreds of thousands of dollars to attain such a morsel. The poor baker became overwhelmed and oppressed by the aggressive mob. They pushed back the glass case making all the spectacular baked goods fall to the floor. The riot had begun.

The men punched, kicked, pulled hair each others hair repeatedly. The cake merely sneered at the riot and felt overjoyed at the scene of men fighting over it. Finally, the men were lying on the ground in a bloddy mess as a naive young girl walked into the shop. She wanted to bring home some fresh bread home to her mother.

"Oh my lord!" she exclaimed. "Is that chocolate cake?"

As she reached down to taste just a lick of frosting, a man pulled out a gun and shot her repeatedly.

"I won", he said as he stumbled to his feet. He then sprinted out the door. She was sprawled there covered in the blood of the innocent.

Herpaderp ~ <3

The Day Duct Tape Saved My Life

Johnny opened the closet door, looking for his coat, only to find Matt and me inside. We sprang apart from each other and wiped our mouths. We tried to look innocent. Johnny smiled wickedly. "I thought you were going out with Frank, Krystal."

I stuttered. "I...I am...but..."

"It's not what it looks like," Matt said, cutting me off. "I was helping her find her coat-"

"Right. That's why the door was shut and your lips were pressed against hers. I think I'm going to go pay Frank a visit."

Then, I spotted something. High on the top shelf was some multicolored duct tape. "Matt!" I said. "Hold him!"

Matt grabbed Johnny before he could go far. I reached up and took the duct tape. Together, we tied Johnny up. Then, we threw him in the closet and left.

That was the day duct tape saved my life...until the next morning, when someone found and released Johnny.


Could you tell me where I should've been more or less descriptive? Was there anything that confused you?

The Day Duct Tape Saved My Life

Yo I wrote this for Writing Exercise 38, the day of the one and only Greene Bean's 40th birthday. It was inspired by real events so let me know if you < 3 it. What can I do to make the cookie cake sound as delicious and perfect as it tasted? Should I make the falling of the cookie more dramatic!?!!?!?!? HMU HOMIES PCE


It was a somewhat dreary day at Nashua South. But this wasn't any ordinary rain day, it was Greene Bean's 40th birthday and nothing could make this day bad. By the time second block rolled around, Greene Bean couldn't contain his excitement. His perfect angel students came floating into his classroom to shower him with a feast. There were cookies, brownies, and drinks galore. But the world stopped when Jon Manheim entered the room with the most beautiful gift of al. It couldn't be a 40th birthday without a cookie cake. Mr. Greene began drooling as he watched Manheim Proudly stumble in the door with it. There was no doubt he would get below an A+ now. Greene began getting a little too excited, pushing everyone and everything out of the way so he could reach the precious treat. As he did so, though, the cake slipped and crashed to the ground. The other children all watched with terror as tears filled their eyes. For a minute, everyone stood in silence and stared at the now destroyed cookie. It had been broken in a perfect line right down the middle. "Have no fear, children!" Mr. Greene shouted triumphantly as he whipped out a clean roll of duct tape. He slapped one big piece down the middle and the students enjoyed the cookie cake as Mr. Greene enjoyed the best possible.

Percy Winkley's Vengence

Caylain turned around to see a ghost in the town of Goldshire.

Since it was Hallow's end, of course they would have spirits walking around and haunting the citizens. But this was no normal ghost either.

"I was killed by the Headless Horseman," The voice of the ghost in front of Caylain moaned, cracking in his speech. "My name is Percy Winkley," He continued, the blonde hair covered his sallow face and glasses. "You must avenge my death by killing the Headless Horseman, otherwise, I will not be able to rest in peace within my labratory."

Caylain nodded, agreeing to do this soul's bidding. The Death Knight would avenge this lost soul.

What should I add/take out/change to this short story? While I was thinking of it, this actually fit my last short story that we had to write. So I figured I'd have an off-story-short-story thing to it. And if anyone noticed or not, this does have something related to World of Warcraft. It just made sense in my head, but does it make sense to others?

Mom bangs teacher

James is having a very bad day... He just found out his teacher banged his mom while he was at practice. Hes so pissed. He walks into class the next day to just see his teacher smiling at him. He looks like hes about to go ape shit. He slowly reaches for his shoe, and sprints at his teacher. He beats his teacher with it giving him a good ass beating. The teacher gets up and says "your mom hits me better then that." He doesnt even know what to do. He leaves class and goes home. He gets home and all there is is a note from his mom. It says "Goodbye"


Do you guys enjoy this, or is to to much?

Percy Winkley Makes A Friend

This was written for our writing exercise today. Yes, it is somewhat strange.

Once upon a time
A little ghost boy cried
His name was Percy Winkley
It was a sad day when he died

His ghostly glasses were taped
His ghostly teeth had gapes
He cried all the most
He was the nerdy ghost

The bigger ghosts teased him
Stole his ghostly lunch
Sandwich, cheese and a pickle
They made him hurt a bunch

But then one day a new boy came
His name was Robin Hood
He’d died bow in hand
He was just nice and good

Now Percy had a friend
One who was with him to the end
No longer was he teased
For then they would be ceased

So overall, just what do you think of it? Is there anything I could add, or should I change it so that his new friend isn't Robinhood? >_<

James' Bad Day

This is a writing excersize that we did in class, it had to begin with "James was having a very bad day."

James was having a very bad day. He woke up on the floor in a place that he did not recognize. The walls were painted black, as was the ceiling and the floor. The only visible stream of light in the room of darkness originated from a single candle flame illuminating one corner of the room. He stood up frantically, desperate to get out of here, and to get back home. He scaled the walls looking for a door. When he reached the small table on which the candle sat, he picked it up. As that one light soure began to provide insight into other areas of the dark room, James saw something in the back corner that he had not noticed before. He walked over and held the flame close to it. Upon seeing what it was he dropped the candle, causing the flame to eerily spread around the perimeter of the room. The thing standing in the corner was a man, or a thing, as others would describe him. He was completely read, horns on his head and evil black eyes; he was the devil. Sudddenly he spoke, "Do you remember what you did last night, James?" With every word evil venom seeped from his lips. James thought back, he went out late last night drinking with his friends, there had been other women there...then he came home. His wife had been mad...and then what? "She killed you, James." The devil answered his internal thoughts, "welcome to hell."

Fallacious Fate

This is a story I wrote about some ho. I'm looking for reactions so I hope you enjoy this.

Caroline was a straight-up ho. She had blown almost every guy in the school and after today, she would have blown them all. She was performing her act in the passenger seat while Greg was driving. Then all of a sudden, there was a huge crash. When Caroline awoke, she was spitting out Greg's genitalia. In the crash, she had bitten his junk straight off. Blood coated her pearll-white teeth. She threw up after realizing what she had done. When she got out of the hospital, Greg was waiting for her. "You ruined my life you dumb trick." He yelled. He pulled out a gun and shot Caroline. She died as she had lived, on her knees.

Bloody Dreams

This is the first part of my second short story. What do you think? Is there any way I could make this any creepier?
Ivalia stared at the fresh blood staining her hands as she knelt near a cracked willow tree. With wide eyes she stared at the blood then glanced at the mangled corpse lying just to the left of her. The face on the body had been ruined beyond recognition. The snap of a fallen branch behind her alerted her that someone was behind her.
“Admiring my work are you?”
Ivalia froze where she was. The wind howling was the only noise being made as she slowly turned to face the person behind her. As she looked she took in all the details of her from her blood stained face to the tattered shoes she wore. With a shaky voice she spoke to the woman.
“Y-you did this?”
“Of course I did. Who else could have done that? A cricket?”
The woman stated this with a crazed look in her eyes. Ivalia fought every instinct in her body that told her to run. If she ran now then that crazy woman would surely kill her. Hell, she’s probably going to kill her regardless of what she did.
“I think my work is missing something though. Maybe if I added you to it…yes that’ll work nicely….”
As the woman said this, a grin extended across her face revealing sharp teeth and she lifted an already bloody knife, lunging at Ivalia. Ivalia started to scream as the knife started to sink into her flesh.
Screaming, she abruptly sat up on her bed. She stopped when she realized that she was in the safety of her new house. Ivalia let out a sigh of relief then laughed softly. It was just a dream. No one was going to kill her. She slowly climbed out of bed and dragged herself to the kitchen.

HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

why is i feel so lonley,
maybe its since all my friends are phonies.
all day i spend alone,
yet when you need me im right by the phone.
im so sick of breaking my back for you,
when apprently you found something new.
hope you have fun when theres no one left for you,
cause when you try to come back, i will be having fun, and you will be the lonley one boo.
so dont feel pity, thinking i need you.
honestly i am definatley way better off without you.
have fun failing at everything you do,
cause when you see me next, ill be driving right by you.

my attempt at a poem

This little birdie grew
And when it flew you never knew
That ever night while it grew

It called aponded the sadness
As if it was all madness
all it had was radeness

Why must it fly?
When soon it know it'll Cry
And as it cry soon after it will die

God Damn Narcissit.(chapter 2)

The coffee pot is full now with nice fresh Dunkin Donut’s coffee. Closing my laptop I stand up slowly and stretch my legs. I go into my cabinet and look for a couple coffee mugs. Damn, I only have my mom’s antique looking mugs. All well seems everything else is in the dishwasher. I really have to run the dishwasher today.
Making the coffees my stomach growls. Fucking great… I’ll just have to make something after the leave. Or I’ll just go to Mackenzie’s restaurant. The restaurant is great, there aren’t many close to town but that’s the closet one that’s actually good. Yup I’m definitely going there after they leave.
I slowly walk my way into the living room with the hot coffee and I see that Ethan already made his way down. The jerk used my hairdryer, I hid that thing from him the last time he used it because the dumbass chased my kitten around with it. He scarred the poor thing for life. He won’t come out of hiding when Ethan is around him.
I hand the coffee to them, they both say thank you. The rookie’s stare lingered on me for too long and Ethan noticed. Ethan stared at me like he was going to get up and gauge the poor rookie’s eyes out. Looks like this boy never meet Ethan before either because he stared back. Fire blazing in both of their eyes.

The Dentist

The vampire went to the dentist because she needed a cleaning. Her dentist didn't know that she was a vampire. Everytime that she went to the dentist she changed her whole appearence so they wouldn't know that she was a vampire. She went to the dentist at 3:00 for her appointment. The dentist cleaned her teeth and told her that she needed a filling. The vampire wasn't to happy about that, but she let the doctor do it. When the dentist was all done the dentist gave the vampire a new tooth bruth then the vampire attacked the dentist and blood coated her pearl white teeth.

Cute Little Breakup

It's all about the heart
You stunned me from the start
I didn't expect to part

All the emotions grew
Your beautiful like everything you do
I can't take the pain you put yourself through
If you give me a chance
I'll give you the world in a dance

Stae up at the sky
Just wonder why
You let the fire die

I'm pretty sappy
But this untold story had me feeling crappy
I loved you, but our relationship was snappy
Now I moving on, trying to be happy

Did it flow together micely?

Mystery

17 year old girl
prostitute
murder
cousin twice-removed
parking lot at the mall

There was this 17 year old girl who walked the streets because she was a prostitute. SHe committed murder it was her cousin at the mall parking lot. SHe didnt know what was going to happen to her in jail,but she knew it wasnt going to be good. She did everything she could to try and hide the body but she didnt know where it should go.

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN NEXT???

Percy Winkley

This is a writing exercise we did 1st block in Mr. Greene’s class. It is about Percy Winkley, I just want to know what some of you think.

Percy Winkley is a nerdy ghost. He is not cool or friendly like Casper the friendly ghost. People were never scared by Percy, and no one ever wanted to be his friend. Percy now just stays up all night and wheezes away, keeping anyone near him up all the time. Percy leaves a trail of slime to make people sick. When people use their calculators he puts them on a frits.
Percy Winkley is a nerdy ghost, but he doesn’t care. If Percy can’t be scary, or have any friends he can annoy people with his nerdy ways. Percy has to feel noticed somehow, so why not those stupid annoying little things that always ruins someone’s day. When Percy is noticed it always makes his day.

You Never Trusted Me...So You Don't Need Me...

I've seen the good side of you,
It's nothing like you are being right now.
You come home more angry then happy lately,
but yet you say you always have a good day even though it goes by slow.
Are you hiding something from me?

Is something wrong that you wish to say to me but can't?
I'm always here for you to talk too, but you never want to speak about anything.

Last night, you pushed me away from you, trying to keep your sanity under siege,
You didn't even bother to try and talk to me first.
Should I even be around anymore for you?

Is it true that you have no trust in me?
I trust you with everything, but you never believe that I do,
I should be the only person you can trust with anything.

I'm not a person of judgement, but in this case I'm going to say something,
You're being an arrogant jackass towards me.
I do everything for you, anything that you need,
I do my best to achieve, all for you.

You know what?
I don't care anymore, I'm done with you,
It's over, I'm gone, see you later,
and Good-Bye forever...

God Damn Narcissit.

Racing through my bedroom trying to get all my clothes and school stuff together. Ethan honks the horn again. He hates waiting on people, absolutely no patience for anyone except himself. Every since ninth grade he’s been acting like he’s the best and that no one can touch him. That’s certainly not the case. He has weak spots, I know he does. Everyone has to have weak spots. So what’s his Achilles’ heel? One is most definitely his father.
Anyone that is even somewhat close to him knows how he is with his father. Then again who wouldn’t be? Ethan’s father gives him everything he wants. His father is the sheriff in our small town. He could probably get away with murder if he tried. Lucky bastard, I wouldn’t want to end up like that if my father was the sheriff. I’m happy I actually have common sense and a job. Ethan’s going to need both eventually.

What a Horrible day

James was having a very bad day. It was his birthday and no one said "Happy Birthday" Without them saying "I hate you" at the end. No one got him a present or made him a cake. No, the whole day was just chores and carttoons. He walked in to the kitchen for dinner. His mom made him spaghetti, James least favorite meal, but he didn't say anything and just let his dog eat it for him. After dinner James went to bed very sad and very hungry with a horrible birthday spent. Some part of him hoped that his family would come in and surprise him with presents and cake, they never did.

Mr. Mangin and Ms. Shloopa

I had to stay after school today so I could make up some blogs that I missed from being suspened the day before. As I sat in the cold empty classroom I wondered where the hell Mr. Mangin was. I didn't pay attention to the thought after a while and decided to get started on my blogs. I leaned closer to the computer, letting the moniters glow reflect on my face. Now, the hard part. What do I blog about? Cannibalistic demons, suicidal and homocidal scitzo's, maybe even a queer poem I had wrote the block before. I thought deeply into all of these options but none of them were really that appealing to me. As my mind drifted off and as my diagnosed ADD kicked in, I stared out of the classroom window. I saw that Mr. Mangin was finally coming to attend my detention, but he wasn't alone. He was with Ms. Shloopa, my english teacher. I had always heard rumors from fellow classmates that they were hooking up. So I decided to find out for myself. I quickly turned off my moniter and grabbed my backpack. I ran into the closet hoping they would come back into the room. Seconds after the thought I heard the door open, and muffled giggles. "Finally, Ms. Shloopa, I get your kooka." I heard my teacher joke. "Bout time Mr. Mangin that we get to bangin." She shot back with another joke. After a long period of awkwardness and moans, there was finally silence, that I begged for. I heard the door shut behind the two love-drunk teachers, I scrambled out of the closet and ran to my computer. I knew exactly what to blog. ;)

Blood Thirsty-Cake Eating Worgen

The cake was moist and delicious. Inside of what the baker made, a worgen in her human form stay, hidden in plain sight. Little did people know from the outside they would be surprised.

Within the hiding spot, her nails clawed at the cake, tasting the freshness. It was an appetizer to her entree.

Moving swiftly as she heard small voices, the worgen snapped up to the top, now covered in filling and frosting.

Inside the church, she howled at the screams of the humans as her blood pulsated through her veins. Her longer, unsheathed claws slicing through the the throats and lungs of the Scarlet Monistarry.

Fur had grown, and blood had been spilt; covering her and the floor, collapsing to the ground, a silver bullet straight into her heart.

She was sprawled there, covered in the blood of the innocent.

Shocker, Isn't it?

Bullshit. That's all I smell when I enter my third block class. Ms. Mums, my teacher gets paid to teach my class of twenty three students about Ameria's history but instead, she sits on her ass playing 'Bejewled' for an hour and a half while bitching at us to copy notes out of our books.
Divided we conquor is the moto of the class it seems. In the front of the room is the 'Goodies' or, the 'Ass Kissers'. Every day, the 'Goodies' (a group of three) come in with a steaming hot cup of coffee for Ms. Mums. See, I would love to hand Ms. Mums a steaming hot cup of piss but the lack of energy I have is outstanding.
To the middle of the class, there's the 'Common Kids'. I am apart of what's identified as the 'Common Kids' and love every minute of it. We make up the majority of the population of the classroom and our common goal is to pass the class doing as little of amount of work as humanly possible.
The last section is the back of the room. These seleceted few children are called, 'The Who?' for one reason only. They are alomost always dressed in black and never speaking. It's odd to the rest of us, but it's what is expected from them. They are misfits of the room.
But, life is about to change drastically for the girl in the back left corner of the room. Well, I guess for me too, just not physically. Do you see her over sized red sweater? Under that sweater is a bell and in that bell is a baby. Yeah, I threw you for a loop didn't I? In my senior year, I will no longer be called 'Davey'. I'll be the seventeen- year- old called, 'Daddy'. But. you can keep a secret for now, can't you?

Cake All Over My Body

Hi guys! I love cake and I hope you do too! Does this make you hungry? Is the part where cake girl dies clear enough? What can I do to maybe hint more and make less of a sudden change in story? SOS!! THXx x3

The cake was moist and delicious. The funfetti fluff of love sat in her mouth like a 600 pound fat guy who can't get out of bed. As she chewed, it rolled around in her mouth like a puppy on a warm summer day. It released the sweet, sweet aroma only comparable to a Thanksgiving feast finished by apple, pumpkin, and cherry pie.
As her mind dreamt of cake covered in frosting and sprinkles piled to the sky, her hands worked dilligently. She only awoke from her dream state when a sharp pain hit her in the stomach. She glanced down at her happy belly and saw a knife pierced through her skin. She fell to the ground beside her other ten victims. She was sprawled out in the blood of the innocent.

What I Left Behind

This is kind of a make-up from last week, when I just noticed I haven't posted. This is from almost a month ago in September, and up until now I couldn't figure out where in my writing journal this had been. So, my dear readers, I extend to you the invitation to tell me how to better the story I am about to share with you. It may be in the character interaction. Maybe it's the way I could extend my story. Also, there is a line from a song that I know and I am wondering how many catch on to it. Whatever the case may be, critique.

He was cantankerous, but I love that man. So handsome and sweet, but I couldn't hold onto this any longer, not with what he had become.

Looking back, I remember city lights and then feelings got the best of me. We were young and so in love, but now it's just a memory. Everything seemed so perfect then, but now everything is just falling apart. I guess everybody changes, maybe even me.

Seven years, a month, two weeks, and a day or so ago- at least according to his last count of things- we were happier than most people could ever hope to be. Then somewhere around three years ago, after a long and loving year of marriage, he became the cruel and selfish man he is now. But, because of who I am, I couldn't just end things conventionally.

Now, I'm sitting here on a train, leaving my husband bleeding from thirty or so stab wounds, so that I can finally make my getaway and be free, because, Dear Diary, today everything changes. Today, that is what I left behind.

games

so i met this girl who is attractive so i got her nummber and we have beeen talkin since and ive tookin her to my house and ive been over hers we have a good time everytime we hangout but recently we havent been talkin as much and im hearing that shes been talking to like 2 other guys this really gets me mad because she thinks shes so slick with her little games i feel like its a cruel world but what can i do

Dancing Pants

Yo this is a poem I wrote for writing exercise 33. I'll probably use it for my next rap so let me know what I can do to make it better. Should I add more? Should i change the rhyming scheme?


I love to wear my dancing pants
They really compliment my boob implants
All the boys and girls drool
Because they think I'm really cool
I can always bust a move
And show everyone how to groove
Sometimes I get too excited, though
I really give the people a show
A bend over to the beat of the drum
And I soon feed a cool breeze on my bum

Insomniac

Dreams invade my reality

Illusions and lies merge into one

Late night coffee break

No one has any fun

The sun turns into a clock and no longer a light

We try to find a better way to fight

Why can’t I lay my head to rest?

What chance may I find best

Burn my eyes when I looked up above

Searching for things some may call love

No one see as I fall on my back

No one cares for the insomniac

“Every night I dream of you dying, then I freak out and scream, just to see I’m fine.”

The Drunk

I wrote this in class today, and I want to use it for my next short story, It's but a baby to the beautiful mature adult it is destined to become. Please read. Please comment. Please give advice. And most definately please speak your mind. That's one of the hidden messages in the story after all.

To drink until the world blurs on by is the life. To numb the physical and dwell within a mind of pure wisdom is the reason. To make every waking hour of life a dream is the dream. Sober time is wasted time, those who say otherwise are ignorant or liars. The reasons for drinking are infinite and all around us. Alcohol is the magical elixir of the mind, and those who drink in the mystical potion shall be blessed with an experience they will carry with them for life, or forget one that they can’t bear to hold on to. Such is my philosophy.
My name is James, most people call me James, some people think they’re funny and call me fagot or loser. I could care less if those words come from my friends joking around, but the people I’ve never seen before in my life that spit that crap at me are the people I hate the most in life. If I had to make the choice, I’d confine them all to an airtight room and let them slowly choke on their own carbon dioxide. I’m not a violent person, but sometimes I’d like to be. I think most people are the same way, but damn it, I still feel different than most people. Not in a bad way though, I feel enlightened, I guess that’s the problem. There are few people in this world that I can carry on a conversation with for more than half an hour. Their commentaries being composed of words describing base emotions and gossip. Yeah, if there was a reason to my drinking, that would be the one. Although I don’t believe there is a reason to it. I just love to be drunk. The world opens up to you when you’re drunk, and for a time it also allows me to be stupid enough to mingle with the populous. Even the stupid reasons people give me to stop drinking seem like benefits, such as, it kills brain cells, it will destroy your liver, you can’t think straight, and my favorite; you’re not the same person I fell in love with. Being stupider would be great; I’d love to unlearn all the depressing facts about the world. Death is a blessing too, whether there’s an afterlife or not, it’s still better than the suffering in life. And boo hoo, you’re not the same person I fell in love with either, after all, who falls in love with a nagging bitch? No offense intended. That’s something about myself people just can’t understand, I’m just an observer, I rarely use harsh words as an attack towards someone, as most people do to me. It pisses me off when people flip a tit when you make an observation about them. I’m sure we can all relate to that. There are just some people in this world that can’t handle criticism; I can’t relate a single cell in my body to those people. Take for example; you call a Jewish person a Jew when he comes up with a get rich quick scheme, you’re not attacking that person you’re just stating the obvious, and yes maybe you are a little upset, this being the 1000th or so scheme they’ve come up with. If I were a Jew in that situation I would be okay with someone calling me a Jew, in fact I would literally be a Jew, so there’s no reason I should be offended in the first place. However, this person, who literally is a Jew, gets angry, not the usual angry, no this Jew starts foaming at the mouth, has veins popping out of his neck and snot running down his nose. Next, this person starts attacking you, yelling out every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done for the world to know, along with things that aren’t even true, like “you’re a donkey fucking idiot.” If this Jew, who could be anyone, but is a Jew in this example, is so upset about being Jewish that a mere observation of it sets them off on a 30 minute rant, and a month of spreading untrue rumors about me, who could be you, this is all hypothetical. Then in my opinion that person should kill them self. Damn it those people are everywhere. We’ve all encountered that person, and If you haven’t then there’s probably something wrong with you, no offense, your probably just being too nice or something.

Her Pearl-White Teeth

Do you think i should have used a different weapon besides a tennis racket when Carla gets hit in the face? can anyone else think of something else i could have used? In real life I don't think it would have been possible for Carla to get away.



Carla was terrified as she crouched down in a little corner of the shed. She was in a panic, she suddenly recalls the reason she is in this situation.
Carla and her two friends decided to go off the main trails, even though some of the towns people said never go off the trails. The three did anyway they wanted to see what else was in the forest. They agreed not to go far from the trail but eventually they got lost. The three teens were trying to find there way out of the woods all night but they couldn’t. Early the next morning they had spotted a house.
Tired, hungry and lost, they rushed to the house hoping for some help. When they got there a creepy older man opened the door. He invited them in and offered them drinks. Carla’s friends Matt and Staci took the drinks and drank them gladly. Carla took hers but did not drink it. A few moments later Matt and Staci were both on the ground knocked out. Carla knew the man must have put something in the drinks.
She ran but on her way out of the door Carla was hit with a tennis racket. She didn’t stop, she kept running even though she was dizzy. Eventually she ended up here in this little shed. Her mouth hurt, she opened it and looked at her self in a broken piece of mirror on the floor. Blood coated her pearl-white teeth.

Under The World We Know part 5

Part five, again another short one until I'm awak enough to put some more depth to the story. Enjoy, tell me errors in my writting style. Give sudjestions to how to continue, ect, ect.

At the start of the leap the world seemed to pass before Bion’s eyes in slow motion. But as he fell it sped to a point where Bion couldn’t keep track of himself. It was as if he really had to pee, but was too scared to do so. Darkness enveloped his eyes and the only thing that guided his fall was the soft glow of Carson’s blue safety-line. Frantically he stretched out his arms and caught himself on the ledge. It left abrasions on his arm and he was probably going to have a few busies, but he had made it.

“You made it. See I told you, no problem right?” Carson’s voice was reassurance in a world of agony. Bion was almost to tears.

“Yea, I did it Carson; now let’s get you back up.” Bion lifted the rocks off Carson’s chest and he was able to sit up.

“Thanks, I was finding it hard to keep breathing.” He hugged his brother and they went hand over hand up the rope back to the top. Carson leading; Bion following until they both were safe.

“Let’s, never do that again”

“I’ll do my best, but no promises.” Carson grinned at his brother.

Raiden's Last Hand Part I

Max Payne walked groggily out from his hotel into the local bar, the Hero’s Tavern. It was almost six in the morning, but still too early to see well, yet not late enough for him to recover from last night’s party. He was fighting one of the worst hangovers in a while. Max hoped that his adrenaline would kick in soon and it would his sense would come back alive. It did, most of the time. He’s gone days without any sleep, and go from drinking to dodging bullets in less time to reload a pump-action shotgun.

Tommy Vercetti, the infamous gangster, had stopped by Max’s room earlier to let him know that there was a going to be a high-stake poker game at the Hero’s Tavern in an hour. Today, either Snake or Raiden would be gone, well that was the polite way of putting it. Even Raiden had despairing thoughts of his chances. Raiden will be gone the next day. That’s what their whole group believed, hence he had everything to lose, not reason to hold back. Raiden had called the group earlier for one last poker game, either for Snake or himself. Tommy didn’t know why he wanted one. Maybe it was a way to show himself off, or maybe he was just really bored, like many of the other competitors waiting for their next round match. Who knew? Who cared? All Tommy and Max cared about was the huge pot there was going to be and they weren’t just going to miss out on it.

The Hero’s Tavern loomed in front of Max. He rubbed his eyes and pushed the wooden doors open. Vercetti was already there, waiting for the rest of the party to arrive. Tommy gave him a quick nod as he walked past him. Solid Snake was already at the table shuffling the deck, while Raiden sat at one of the chairs, looking back and forth. Definitely nervous. Payne wondered if he could even put on a poker face after last night.

“Are we ready to go?” Max asked, still trying to pull himself together.

Solid Snake shook his head. “The Chief is coming.”

“Ah, alright.” Max gave a quick nod, and signaled for the bartender. Max mumbled for something that would wake him up. In a few minutes, the bartender came over with an interesting concoction. It was a mix of caffeine, Panax ginseng, raw eggs, vodka, and raw eggs. After his lungs stopped burning, he had to admit that it did the trick. It really got him wondering where the hell did something like that get into the bar scene. From afar, Vercetti was smirking at him.

Max though, “Sure…just let him think I’m still half asleep, probably why he invited me.”

The knotty willow doors rocked open again. The four turned to look, seeing the Chief marching into the room. It was the first time since the tournament that he was wearing his full armor. He scooted a chair from a couple of tables down. He took his spot and acknowledged the other players.

Snake broke the eerie silence. “Good, we’re all here now. Table stake, no limit, dealer’s choice. Any man cheating will be shot, any man bluffing will be called, and any many who’s not prepared to lose it all may leave now.”

Raiden flinched at those words, but the rest kept their cool. Tommy could feel his heart speed up, but with his tricks and shenanigans, he easily kept his expressionless face. The five of them tossed in their antes. This is going to be good.

It was Snake’s deal first. He looked over at Vercetti as he pulled out his SOCOM pistol and pointed it at the deck he had been shuffling earlier. Moments later, he shrugged and put his SOCOM away.

“We’ll count the cards after we’re finished. Five card draw, no wilds.” Snake said coolly.

As he began to deal out his cards, Tommy began to slowly lean back.

“Something wrong, Tommy?”

“No no, not at all.”

Snake pulled out his SOCOM and poked Tommy’s pocket. “What do we have there?”

Tommy shrugged and mumbled out his words, “Just in case we needed a spare.”

Solid Snake nodded and kept dealing. Unless Tommy had blown a whole in his deck with the same SOCOM that he had, he had not doubts that he could tell the difference. The other four wanted a fair game. He hoped that that conversation served a fair warning to the rest of the players.

Snake finished his deal, and picked up his cards. Two tens and rubbish. He began to do the math and weigh his option. The Chief had first bet.

It was only the first round and Master Chief was already doing well. Two aces, a ten, a jack, and a queen. A chance for an inside straight. Cortana, the Chief’s built in AI, whispered softly so the other players wouldn’t hear her.

“I wouldn’t bet on getting that inside straight. It’s much better to keep the aces.”

Master Chief grunted in acknowledgment. The hours he had played with the crew back in Halo had given him plenty of experience to figure that one out. Cortana’s advice occasionally came in handy, but poker was still dominated by the human element.

“I’ll open with twenty.”

Max reached for a couple of chips and tossed it into the pot. “I’ll see that.”

Raiden nervously counted his chips. “I’ll raise you another twenty.”

Tommy raised one eyebrow, but quickly matched the bet. Snake and Master Chief followed right after. There was no way he had something good already. It was back to Max and he finished the round.

“Three cards,” Master Chief breathed out from his helmet, slowly sliding three cards to Snake. Three cards slid right back. His aces found another brother, along with a five and a jack. All the other players requested three cards, even Raiden. Master Chief smiled behind his dark green helmet.

“I’ll bet another 75.”

Max tossed his cards onto the table. “I’m outtie.”

Chief stared right into Raiden’s eyes. “Feel like losing today?”

Raiden called his bet. The Chief doubted he’d be any kind of threat; even his face was showing signs out doubt.

Vercetti folded and Snake matched the seventy-five.

Master Chief flipped his cards over. “Three aces.”

Solid Snake nodded his head, “Queens and tens.”

The four looked back at Raiden. Finally, he tossed his cards into the middle. “A pair of jacks?” Raiden said softly.

The four laughed as Chief scooped his winnings in. “Nice try kid.”

Raiden's Last Hand Part I

DANCING PANTS

I love to wear my dancing pants, especially when I go to the club. When i put these pants on I go buck wild, I dance so much, and women are into me! They always grind on me and they always ask me for my number to hang out after the club and get the business on. I cant even picture myself actually talking to girls, im usually a loner except when i put these pants on. I brought this girl home and she totally was into me. when we get back to my house she ripped off my pants and totally just left, i totaly didnt see that coming... got robed of my pants.


Like it ?

Ninja Babies

This is a small section of my screen play: Ninja Babies. Alice is the mother of twins. The son is controlled by a microchip in his brain while the daughter is not. Evil King Henry created the ideas for the microchips. The son, Laurie, has just told King Henry that he has a sister (she was kept hidden from him) The set up is messed up...
INT. ENGLAND THRONE ROOM- DAY
We see Alice’s throne room. She looks teary-eyed from the loss of her husband. She rises when Henry and her son enter the room and they walk in.
ALICE
Alice curtseys.
And what brings you to my humble palace, King Henry?
HENRY
Your son has told me some interesting things.
ALICE
Has he?
She looks at Laurie and then back up at Henry.
HENRY
Yes, and I want to know if these things are true. Do you have a daughter, Alice?
ALICE
No, just my son.
HENRY
Your son seems to think differently.
ALICE
Perhaps his microchip is disturbing his brain.
LAURIE
Mom, Lyla can’t be a secret anymore. It would be a betrayal to King Henry.
HENRY
I am growing quite fond of your boy. Laurie, go and find your sister.
LAURIE
Yes, my king.
Laurie leaves. King Henry stares at Alice.
ALICE
I have no daughter; you will find no girl here.
HENRY
Your son would not lie to me; he cannot lie to me.
ALICE
Perhaps his microchip is defective.
HENRY
Perhaps you have not been loyal to your king.
ALICE
I have done nothing against you.
HENRY
But you have. Hiding a very dangerous defective child from me?
I am not pleased.
Alice says nothing. Laurie enters.
LAURIE
She’s not here, my king.
HENRY
Where is she, Alice?
ALICE
I’ve told you before; I have no daughter.
HENRY
Laurie, I want you to take your mother back to my palace. She will remain there
until she tells me where your sister is.
LAURIE
Yes, my king.
HENRY
I don’t think you understand how dangerous defects are.
Laurie leads his mother away.

I've never written a screen play before, is there two much or not enough dialog? Is there useless directions? Clear scene description?

Fancy Dancing Pants

"Dude we got to go!" Zack shouted at Matt. "We were supposed to be there an hour ago." "What?" Asked Matt. " why didn't you wake me up?" "My alarm didn't go off this morning." Zack replied. Matt got up and rubbed his eyes. He let out a yawn. Zack stood there patiently. "Come on. Get dressed!" "Alright, alright just stop yelling. He got up and sauntered to his closet. He reached in and pulled out a black tee shirt with the name of his favorite screamo band on it. He looked it over and put it on. He rummaged through the closet again. This time he grabbed a pair of baggy parachute pants with stripes of neon blue and green. "Should i wear these?" "No!" Said Zack. "We're going to a wedding not a rave." "Awwww." Said Matt "but I love to wear my dancing pants. He put them back and grabbed some dress pants. He put on a formal jacket and his nicest shoes. "Ok" he said. "Let's go."

Blood Coated Her Pearly White Teeth

Does this all make enough sense? I'm not sure if it's easy to tell what's going on or not. Feedback, please!

Blood coated her pearl-white teeth. The metallic taste was sickening to Natalie, but she continued to eat the brains of of her fallen comrades. She couldn't disappoint her team by not following through. By pretending to be a zombie, she had penetrated the zombies's base. Now it was feeding time, and Natalie was left with no choice. "Think of the team." She repeated over and over in her head. Really, brains were pretty nutritious, but disgusting nonetheless. While Natalie ate she scanned the crowd. She saw lots of zombies, obviously, but she was looking for someone in particular; their creator. He was a human scientist named McChicken who invented the virus in his basement. After he injected the first person, the takeover was inevitable. If she could kill him her mission would be a success. There! On an elevated platform overlooking the swarms of the undead stood a man with wild hair and thick glasses. He smiled wickedly down at his creations. Natalie edged through the crowd as inconspicuously as possible. She was now so close to the platform that she could see every line on McChicken's weathered face. Without taking her stare off of the villain, she reached for the pistol at her side and-- CHOMP! Natalie screamed and looked down at her hand. Green, viscous liquid oozed out of the bite marks. She knew in a matter of seconds her humanity would deteriorate completely. This was her only chance. She frantically grabbed the gun and fired. Her vision was starting to go red. The last thing she saw through human eyes was her bullets burying themselves in McChicken's chest.

FALL OF THE DARKEST REFLECTION (PART1)

The story begins as Shelvrie and Agent Xy riding down the streets of Citadel chasing Rexindex, who had just destroyed a power plant. Shelvrie eventually caught up to Rexindex, but a gasoline truck, which they knocked over, had erupted at that time. Shelvrie and Xy teleported away from the scene, unsure of rexindex’s fate.
Shelvrie returned to the Harold manor, were his allies stayed. Shelvrie and Xy told the others of what happened. They decided that their next move should be to attack the Tech Lords for as they posed greatest of threats. The Organization then commandeered a Tech Lord Cargo ship and headed to Tech-Tarm, the Tech Lords’ giant artificial planet. Upon arrival, the Xigdar Knights, the Tech Lords arch rivals, attacked the fleet of cargo ships (the same fleet the Organization hijacked). The Tech Lords and Xigdar Knights fought against each other in an epic space battle. Under the fire, the Organization snuck into Tech Tarm raising no suspicions. Upon entry Rexindex was waiting with a surprise attack and destroyed the cargo carrier. The group split up; Fred went to look for an escape route, Gingi and Patrick went with a couple RPG’s to one of the core reactors. Samantha, Gary and Jillian each took on a different Tech Lord and Shelvrie fought Rexindex. After Gingi and Patrick destroyed the core reactor, the entire sector began to fall apart1. Fred had managed to find a ride and they escaped.
The Tech Lord council had met to discuss their progress. The other Tech Lords weren’t confident on rexindex’s ability to lead them. Rexindex informs them that his master Xaldrix has just gave him the power of darkness, and that with it he will finally be able to kill Shelvrie. The other Tech Lords cheer only to please him but none of them believed he would be able to defeat Shelvrie2.
The gang returned to planet Broun to research some way of stopping the darkness. The sky’d assassins, realizing the threat the Organization pose, sent a battalion of high ranked solders, or cloaks, to kill the Organization. Arxieniax and reviox attacked some of the Organization members to distract them as Vyd created a flaming tornado in order to destroy the imperial colossus tower (ICT). Fred managed to stop the twister but it was too late and the tower fell3, along with the hope of finding answers about the darkness.
The Organization had traveled out into space were they think the portal to the dark realm would be. Upon arrival they and their ship were sucked into the black hole which was the portal to the dark realm. In the dark realm they fell upon a decrepitated city resembling that of the medieval age. They traveled down the narrow winding rows of rooftops to a floating castle separated into several rooms and towers. They entered the castle knowing that it had belonged to the council of darkness. The group split up and went looking for a library to find something that might help them. The group ran into members of the council several times luckily the membership was there looking for trouble, distracting the council from the Organization Gingi and Fred had found the “engine room” and destroyed the force that kept the castle floating. The Organization escaped the crumbling castle and left the dark depths through a portal that a mysterious figure had created.
The group had landed in an overgrown like planet called duweian. There they found Jeremiah weak, he helped them to better understand the darkness and its past4. Later the darkness had found them and they were angry about what they had done to their castle and the Tech Lords had joined them, without Xaldrix’s approval. The battle was mighty and the darkness suffered more losses. Fred had encountered a man in electronic samurai armor who called himself nightmare. Fred defeated him but was unsure of who he was5. The Organization was able to hijack a Tech Lord Cruiser and escape. In anger Xaldrix destroyed Jeremiah’s mansion. Xaldrix was then angry with Rexindex for coming and took away his powers of darkness.
The Organization travelled to planet Warzun, a planet named after the mythological god of prosperity. They had traveled to Warzun to cripple the grogdor facilities in the area. The grogdors6, were an evil govt. that threatened other systems and had recently joined an alliance with the Tech Lords, Xaldrix was drawing forces from all over. The Organization found a mass army of grogdors. They fought and repealed them from the canyons, but as soon as they got the upper hand the Tech Lords and sky’d assassins7 attacked. They managed to win the battle and destroy monarch, Blixxendrex, Xigdar, hellvendrex and jackal.
In the book, that Shelvrie stole from the council, told of a cannon in the realm of dark that creates portals to the realm of light by sacrificing souls8. The Organization, with new knowledge of this weapon decided that they must destroy it. The Organization headed back to the realm of darkness through another passage. When they arrived they found the cannon but it looked dormant9. The remaining council had appeared and told them that the cannon no longer worked and then they fought in battle. Rexindex had arrived uninvited by Xaldrix and without backup10. The final battle took place fighting to the end. With all the dark forces teaming up on Shelvrie he had no chance of winning. Rexindex then made the final blow and stabbed Shelvrie in the back then Xaldrix stuck Rexindex down and told him the truth. Xaldrix told him how Shelvrie is rexindex’s brother11 and how he used him as a weapon12 against the Organization. In anger Rexindex attacked Xaldrix, after a while fighting a mysterious figure jumped from the top of the cannon and hit away Xaldrix, the stranger then created a portal and push Rexindex through. Then out of nowhere Yendyx betrayed and killed Xaldrix, while that happened the Organization escaped.
The war had seemed to slip into an intermission, the group of teens laid down on the old hill looking up at the stars. They noticed that even in the dark depths the stars didn’t change they were the same, light and dark weren’t so different, and they realized dark isn’t that different.

leaking kitten

I called my vet as soon as i saw my kitty sox.
"Hello?" Dr. Burns answered.
"My kitty is leaking! Help me, help me, help me!" i screamed into the phone.
"Leaking-What? What do you mean?"
"He's leaking! Sox is leaking! How do I stop him?!"
"Do you mean Bleeding?" Dr. Burns pronounced the word as if i was dumb.
"No, he is leaking! this weird yellowy stuff is falling from between his legs!"
Dr. Burns sighed. "He's only peeing, he's fine."
Sox, my kitty, stopped leaking, or as Dr. Burns called it "peeing" and walked away. I smiled.
"Thank's magic vet! Bye!"
I hung up the phone and went on my tiptoes to put it on the table.
"Julianna, were you just talking to someone?" My mommy's voice came from the other room.
"Yea, i was on the phone with the vet." i told her, as she walked in. i lifted my arms so that she would pick me up.
She did, and said "I told you no phone. Your too little, you might call someone by accident."
"But im already four years old mommy." I argued, as she carried me out of the room.

Shredding Skillz

This is a poem I wrote for Exercise 35. Let me know if you dig it or not. Does it flow well? Any changes to make it sound...sweller?

I will shred like no tomorrow
Ass, this I shall kick
I'll be glorified eternally
Without a baseball or a hockey stick

I'll make waves
With power chords, I will pwn
I'm beyond a dork
Like a god I will own

Never underestimate the power of the dorks
Us geeks and freaks
Guess what? We're bad-asses
We're epic win at it's peak

Mob

This was writing exercise 16, about a first kiss gone horribly wrong. What are your thoughts?

They kissed. It was their first kiss, and they had wanted it to be perfect, and utterly romantic. Just then, the doors to the movie theater were thrown open, and in rushed an angry mob. They had torches and pitchforks, which was weird because it's really difficult to find even one torch or pitchfork these days. The mob was angry because the movie theater was selling small popcorn for ten dollars each. The cashier was panicking. "All movie theaters charge a lot for snacks!" he yelled. "Why are you only picking on us?" another cashier chimed in. The mob wasn't listening. The lit on the popcorn seeds on fire and the place filled with popcorn kernels almost instantly. People were trying to leave the theater because their movie was over. They couldn't get through the mob. Some of them joined the mob because they had spare torches in their purses. The mob members grabbed as much food as they could. Anyone that tried to stop them was stabbed with a pitchfork. It was a total disaster. Luckily, the boy and girl had left the theater just before this had all happened. Their first kiss went on with no interruptions.