This was the writing exercise about "what I left behind." What do you think of it? How could it be better?
I just got back from vacation.
I realize now I must make a declaration.
"I forgot everything there!"
"I forgot my shoes and a brush for my hair!"
I really must have lost my mind
for I left so many important things behind.
I left my iPod in Cape Cod
and my peach at the beach.
I lost three pairs of flip-flops
and nail polish for my toes.
I think the only thing I remembered
was one pair of clothes!
Cute, I feel that I would have read this as a child from a Dr. Sues book. Only he would have replaced objects with funny names. I like the aabb rhiming scheme and I don't see a way you could make this poem better. The only thing I can sudjest if you're going to write a poem again. Try using an a b a b a b rhiming scheme, challenge yourself. so it would go
ReplyDeleteI just got back from vacation
I forgot everything there!
I realize now I must make a declaration
I forgot my shoes and a brush for my hair!
good job. it was interesting to read.
ReplyDeleteI liked this it was good. It could be turned into a poem.
ReplyDeleteIt was adorable
ReplyDelete