October 7, 2011

.Fish Flavored Coffee

I woke up in a daze, blinded. Where I was, I did not know, but I was not home. I assumed I was at a friend's house but nothing seemed familiar. Everything around me was almost aquatic-looking, water-proof. I walked into the kitchen, yet no one was around. Coffee was all I wanted and needed in this moment. Maybe it would help me wake up and remember how I got here. There was some pre made coffee in the coffee pot, it looked fresh. I poured myself a cup and took a sip. "BLEH!" I whaled as I spit it back out. Yes, it was coffee, it was fish flavored coffee. Who drinks this stuff? I really needed to find out where I was. I opened the front door of the house to see a large tree, grass and a large dome surrounding it all and closing it in. Outside the dome was water. Lots and lots of water. I was standing in a giant fishbowl. Just as I was about to scream I heard a friendly voice calling to me. "Sandy!" he said. I spun around to see Spongebob standing there grinning at me. It was all coming back to me now. I was a drowning squirrel when he saved me and put a fishbowl around me. That is where I built my home, in bikini bottom. I immediately invited Spongebob inside for some coffee, fish flavored of course. He said he would love to.

What can I add to make the story more funny or add some more imagery?

1 comment:

  1. Yo Nora, this story is hilarious. I think that the entire ending is really clever and funny. I don't know if it was intentional or not but the sentence that says "I whaled as I spit it back out" was especially funny because this story is about fish and you said whaled so it's all punny and stuff. The last sentence, however, is a little awkward. Maybe you could change it to something else like "He was flattered and we enjoyed a nice, fishy afternoon together." Maybe you could add more imagery at the beginning, describing the weird ocean place. You could make the main character wonder around more at the beginning which would make the story longer while also adding more detail and imagery. Overall, I think this story is awesome and you're awesome and alpacas are awesome. (Maybe you could throw in some alpacas at the end???)

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