Dreams invade my reality
Illusions and lies merge into one
Late night coffee break
No one has any fun
The sun turns into a clock and no longer a light
We try to find a better way to fight
Why can’t I lay my head to rest?
What chance may I find best
Burn my eyes when I looked up above
Searching for things some may call love
No one see as I fall on my back
No one cares for the insomniac
“Every night I dream of you dying, then I freak out and scream, just to see I’m fine.”
This was really good. it made me want to read it more and more. good job.
ReplyDeletewow really good. caught my attention.
ReplyDeleteMan, that was good :). I think your poem really caught my attention for a multitude of reasons. I love the title. It sets the tone for the poem and draws me in. It's a short, well written poem. It flows really well and I can easily relate to it. The message I receive from your poem is the fact that we are all racing against time and are trying to find some kind of balance. We have things we need to get done and we have things we want in our lives. It seems insightful and easy to relate to. I appreciate the fact you talked about coffee by the way lol. If there is anything I would change, which is minimal, would be to make sure that each line has a way to connect with the next one. The beginning feels different from the end. Make sure your rhyme scheme is also a bit intact. I totally understood it and thought you did a great job.
ReplyDelete