I love to wear my dancing pants, especially when I go to the club. When i put these pants on I go buck wild, I dance so much, and women are into me! They always grind on me and they always ask me for my number to hang out after the club and get the business on. I cant even picture myself actually talking to girls, im usually a loner except when i put these pants on. I brought this girl home and she totally was into me. when we get back to my house she ripped off my pants and totally just left, i totaly didnt see that coming... got robed of my pants.
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Sad ending, i thought he was gonna get some :( Anywaysss, I think you should add more describing details for the reader. such as, what do the pants look like? Why do they make him act so differently? How did he get the pants? I thought it was a cute plot though. I'm assuming the guy in the story is awkward, doesnt usually talk to da ladies, and then he puts on his sexy dancing pants and he becomes hot. I like it, nice job (:
ReplyDeleteQuite short, but then again you only had about 10 minutes to write it. So I don't blame you. Still I would have liked some more description like Nora said. Maybe a bit of dialogue too, just so that the reader can visualize your story and not just scim it. Also watch repeating words an incredible ammount. You totally need to totally only use totally maybe twice. Or once, but defenitely not in the same sentence. Overall; keep going.
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