This is a writing excersize that we did in class, it had to begin with "James was having a very bad day."
James was having a very bad day. He woke up on the floor in a place that he did not recognize. The walls were painted black, as was the ceiling and the floor. The only visible stream of light in the room of darkness originated from a single candle flame illuminating one corner of the room. He stood up frantically, desperate to get out of here, and to get back home. He scaled the walls looking for a door. When he reached the small table on which the candle sat, he picked it up. As that one light soure began to provide insight into other areas of the dark room, James saw something in the back corner that he had not noticed before. He walked over and held the flame close to it. Upon seeing what it was he dropped the candle, causing the flame to eerily spread around the perimeter of the room. The thing standing in the corner was a man, or a thing, as others would describe him. He was completely read, horns on his head and evil black eyes; he was the devil. Sudddenly he spoke, "Do you remember what you did last night, James?" With every word evil venom seeped from his lips. James thought back, he went out late last night drinking with his friends, there had been other women there...then he came home. His wife had been mad...and then what? "She killed you, James." The devil answered his internal thoughts, "welcome to hell."
I love this story! This is definitely one of my favorite ones on the blog so far. Since it's a writing exercise, of course it couldn't be very long, but the suspense was killing me, no pun intended, the whole time. My favorite part was when James remembered back to the night before. It implied just enough for the reader to start putting the pieces together and then you really drove it home with the last line. One thing I was confused about is where it says that James scaled the walls. Scaling generally implies climbing, and I wasn't sure if that's what you meant or not. Maybe he has some sort of hellish super-power now, just make sure to clarify if that's the case. I really loved the story, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great story. I liked how James has no memory in the beginning, so you think it's going to be a hangover story. And then he wakes up in a completely dark environment and there's only a single creepy candle. I like how the room is eerily illuminated by the tiny candle. Then he finds the creature in the corner. I can picture that and it's wicked sketchy, I like. Then it's the devil, genius. I loved this story and I really loved the ending. Great job, you're a winner and you deserve an award for this.
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