March 16, 2012

An Epic Failure

My bestfriends date was an absolute fiasco and I was glad. The kid is hilarious and entertaining but he is too stupid to have a girlfriend. Let me break down what happened for you:
For the date they were supposed to go to a Japanese steak house on the main strip in the next town over. Before my friend even got to her house he had a flat tire. He called me asking how to fix it.
"You have a jack and a wrench in the back of your car. Put the jack under a stable spot in the back of your car and lift the car up with it. Undo the bolts on the tire with the wrench and take the spare out from under your car to replace it.
"Thanks man. I owe you one." After he did that (mind you, he's sweaty and greasy now) he went to the girls house to pick her up and meet her parents. They were appalled by him and he drove himself and his date to the steakhouse.
They were running late now and when they arrived, they missed their reservations and were told to wat at least a half hour. At this point, what else could go wrong, right? Well, when they finally sat down to eat, my friend spilt sauce all over the two of them. As the cook was cooking the rice a little later on, he spilt cooking oil too close to them and almost lit the girl's hair on fire.
When they finally finished eating and my friend took her home, he came over to tell me the whole thing. I've never been more satisfied to hear someone fail like he did. This is going to make impressing her a lot easier.
I can't wait for our date next week.

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