February 25, 2011

An excerpt

Then the next morning came as if nothing had happened at all. John got up and sneaked a glance at the digital clock at his bedside. 12:03pm. Ouch…he was going to get killed by his father, who insisted that “all real Asians” woke and slept early. John sighed wearily and stalked his way to the bathroom, nearly tripping over several paint canvases scattered on the ground.
He looked into the mirror and his reflection stared back; boring black eyes under a mop of unruly black hair. At barely 5’3”, he had to be the shortest senior -scratch that- shortest guy in his entire high school. He also happened to be the only one without a cell phone, girlfriend, or friend at that matter. At least, he thought, I can move out now that I’m eighteen, although deep within, John knew he would never have the courage to cut himself away from his safe but sorry current life.
He found a black package taped to the door. John groaned. It was probably another video game from his father. He was right. He was about to toss it in his pile of seventeen other video games when he read the title. “The Adventures of John’s Quest to the Truth”, it read. He frowned; of course his father would get a video game like this.
John yawned, and since he found nothing better to do, he popped the video game he never wanted into the game console he also never wanted. The TV buzzed and flashed a few times from lack of use. “Select a Character,” voiced the game.

**yawn** Did I create a believable character?


  1. I think he's believable (although depressed). He understands himself and has a lot of insecurity issues, like most teenagers do. Though he might want to believe it, chances are he isn't the only one without a girlfriend. He seems to be very conscientious about his appearance and social status, which is also normal. I think he works out well.

  2. I think it's a believable character because some kids don't have cellphones or girlfriends/boyfriends. Also maybe you could add some more features about him. This is just a suggestion, maybe you could make him feel a little happier or more excited than depressed because I feel he is bored and depressed all the time in the story. But still it's a great believable character.