It’s not often that I show emotions of sadness. I wanted to kill him. He had taken my daughters’ lives. I felt another transformation building up. I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t. My strength doubled, breaking the straps that bound me. My flesh changed, making rough, cracked edges. The doctor was scared, scrambling to the door. I was standing, my stature getting taller. The other screamed as my spiny hand reached for his neck...
SO OTHER POP's! Whatcha think on this little snippet of a short story I have been working on? It's supposed to be creepy. I don't wanna give away the rest of it, so this will have to do. Oh, by the way, this dudes a demon. If you couldnt tell.
LOVED it wish there was a little more info, and i liked the way it was written.
ReplyDeleteI like the writing style as well, but since all his fury comes from his wish to avenge his daughter, I can't connect as well. If you are trying to aim this at a younger or teenage audience you might want to focus on something people in that case can refer to or connect with.
ReplyDelete