February 25, 2011

An excert from my story "The Prologue"

So I walked in. At the head of our kitchen table was a slight woman with blonde hair worn in a bun. I sat down on the other side of the table and started twiddling my thumbs.
"Abigail," she said in a comforting voice.
"My name's Bailey," I tried to keep my voice from showing how much I hates her, for Daddy's sake. Instead, the words came out cold as ice.
"I always hated your first name, I can't believe I let your father pick it," she said quietly.
"Well, I hate my middle name so it's a good thing Daddy named me Bailey seeing as I'm the one who has to live with it, right?" My voice was getting more agressive, but at least I hadn't left or started screaming. I wanted to hear what this woman had to say. How could she justify nearly ten years of absence? Ten years of abandonment? I would hear her out, alright. Then I would turn everything around. I was going to break her. I wanted to ruin her life, just like she ruined mine.
"You hate me," she said miserably.
"Of course I do!" I said. My voice was scary and reminiscent of maniacal laughter.
"You have to understand," she told me desperately. "I...I wouldn't have been a good mother. I would have screwed you up!"
"So it was better for me to be raised by a single father? To make Mother's Day cards in school for no one? To have me go through life only knowing half of me? That wasn't fair!" I yelled that last part.
"You can't talk to me like that! I'm still your mother!" She yelled right back.
"I have no mother!"

Can you understand why the daughter is so angry? After her mother comes back in her life after 10 years of abandonment? Throughout the story, Bailey (the daughter) is potrayed as untrusting and as a grudge holder. Even with that in mind, do you think she's overreacting, or do you think she has the right to be angry? Are there too many details? Not enough?

1 comment:

  1. You can easily understand why the daughter is angry and she does have the right to be. If you wanted you could add more details about the daughters struggles being raised by a single father and maybe her fathers struggles as well.