February 25, 2011

A Writing Exercise

Joey crossed the finish line. All his hard work finally paid off, he had come in first after training for a year. When he stood on the first place stand, he was happy but thought he deserved more. He thought that a year of training should not be put to waste on only one event. He thought that everything should be a race. Immediately, Joey ran off the podium and grabbed his bike. He took off and headed toward the exit trying to be the first to leave. As he was riding to the exit he noticed someone trying to leave. Joey hit him with his bike and made it through the door first cheering, as the old man was on the ground in pain. As Joey left the stadium he noticed a foot race about to start. Joey quickly hopped off his bike and ran to the start of the race. Again, Joey tackled and hit everyone that was in his way, determined to finish first. He crossed the finish line first, but when he tried taking the trophy, the officials would not let him because he had not officially registered for the race. Joey did not care because in his mind he was the winner.
This was just a writing exercise, but I want to know if it is easily visualized? It is not suppose to be too funny but does it provide a chuckle? Was it interesting and should I continue on with it?

1 comment:

  1. I didn't chuckle. at all. Its kind of weird, well the character himself is. He all of a sudden becomes some irrational competition maniac out of nowhere. It needs more realism, otherwise all I pictured was some stupid boy who clearly lost his brain before he crossed the finish line. But that's just my opinion, you should see what other people thought of it.