This is something i wrote for a writing excercise in class, how is this?
Of pure hatred betrayal is born. To roam the earth in darkness and solitude is to abandon all hope and love. And who cannot be trusted wears a mask of crimson, who's hands are stained with blood. Weilding a dagger in one palm and a knife in another, betrayal becomes pain. With one quick jab, crimson will spill and trust will be forever lost in the darkness of midnight.
I like it a lot. Very dark. Love the imagery. Made me a little bit... like.... 'whoa what?' haha. I guess that's the best way to put it. It's pretty depressing but is a good visual for betrayal.
ReplyDeleteI would love to hear the backstory on this piece, the dark tone comes across nicely and I like the detail.
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ReplyDeleteYour detail is amazing, there is nothing i would do to change this. It's dark, and i wanted to keep reading it.
ReplyDeleteThe detail is amazing, i can fully see everything from beginning to end. Ex: The people who have created harm and they have to hide their faces from the people the hurt even though their hands are covered in blood from a simple betrayal. and i love how dark it is. It shows how the world isn't the greatest. That people makes mistakes and it follows them forever. And that sometimes, we really do have stains onour hands, and we need to wear a mask to hide what we've done. I like the last part the most, "With one quick jab, crimson will spill and trust will be forever lost in the darkness of midnight." I can picture a girl actually stabbing the one she loves the most, because he betrayed her and she lost her mind. Like, i can see her having one tear falling down her face and she runs into the town at midnight.
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