Can you picture this inside your head or is there not enough details? What would you recommend to make this better?
My clothes are out to get me. Everything I look at in my closet has a face . And it's not like a friendly smiley face, its a scary face. There's paint all over its face, sharp teeth hanging from its mouth like a shark; its eyes are black with a tint of red. When you look at my shirt you can't help but see a face that wants to eat you and pants that say 'if you put me on I will eat your legs.' Socks that will cut off your feet.
I don't want any of those on me so I make clothes out of paper bags and trash bags. That way I'm not running around naked. But when I walk around on the streets, I look around and everyone's elses clothes have faces too. So I trap myself in my house and all you can see is clothes all over my front yard.
I like the details.
ReplyDeleteA bit longer would be nice. Maybe a fight with the clothes? The red/black eyes is really creepy and made me do a double take of my own clothes. Perhaps you should discuss how the fear of the clothes is making the main character feel?
The clothes the people are wearing should have a little more descriptive. The trash bag and paper outfit had to be uncomfortable, maybe you should describe that a little bit?
ReplyDeleteIf you were to add some backgroung information that could be helpful. Maybe a bit more detailed. I like the concept though. Maybe you could make it longer, and try to stretch it out a bit more
ReplyDelete