September 24, 2010


        Can you picture this inside your head or is there not enough details? What would you recommend to make this better?
        My clothes are out to get me. Everything I look at in my closet has a face . And it's not like a friendly smiley face, its a scary face. There's paint all over its face, sharp teeth hanging from its mouth like a shark; its eyes are black with a tint of red. When you look at my shirt you can't help but see a face that wants to eat you and pants that say 'if you put me on I will eat your legs.' Socks that will cut off your feet.
         I don't want any of those on me so I make clothes out of paper bags and trash bags. That way I'm not running around naked. But when I walk around on the streets, I look around and everyone's elses clothes have faces too. So I trap myself in my house and all you can see is clothes all over my front yard.


  1. I like the details.
    A bit longer would be nice. Maybe a fight with the clothes? The red/black eyes is really creepy and made me do a double take of my own clothes. Perhaps you should discuss how the fear of the clothes is making the main character feel?

  2. The clothes the people are wearing should have a little more descriptive. The trash bag and paper outfit had to be uncomfortable, maybe you should describe that a little bit?

  3. If you were to add some backgroung information that could be helpful. Maybe a bit more detailed. I like the concept though. Maybe you could make it longer, and try to stretch it out a bit more