September 25, 2010


What do you really do?
Is it black magic?
Or systematic?
What have you done?
Is it really that fun?
You drew me in stuck on the head of a pin
some kind of mind control
A strange unreleasing hold
This crazy rattles got me coiled into you
Strangled and mangled fable
Locked up in the stables
So please just tell me why I'm hidden
But binded to you
What is it about you?
Is it your charm?
Or your mystery?
What have I done?
Is it really hung?
I pulled myself in, no way I can win
Under your control.
     A poem from a while back, I'm just wondering how it is and things along those lines.


  1. This is a really good poem. You explained how a man can make you obsessed with him even though you really don't want to. I think you don't have to change anything, its perfect. :)

  2. Very good rhymes i enjoyed it a lot =)

  3. After rereading your poem, I just realized a couple things. I don't really understand the part "This crazy rattles got me coiled into you." What is exactly the rattles? Is it shaking from his control? Are you scared? Something like that. And if you pulled yourself into his control, doesn't that mean you let him control you? Its like, throughout the poem you say he controlled you with "black magic" and by the end you say "I pulled myself in." I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it makes sense to me. I get how that one guy has the power to make you fall in love with him. It's perfect. I can understand that.

  4. I love the idea of being obessed to the point where the subject has complete contol, it gives me chills.