September 28, 2010
Too Late
As the man heard the news he was in utter shock. He had only one day to live. As the doctor got up to leave the man stands up and looks out the window. His life flashs like movie before him and starts to bring tears to his eyes. When the doctor leaves and closes the door behind him the man slowly walks torwards it and reachs out to the knob but stop, turns and goes full sprint out the of the 6th floor window. a couple minutes the doctor walks in with a smile on his face. "it looks like i was i wrong" he says as hes looking at his clip board" you have a couple more months and we have this new treatment tat has showin wond-" he looks up and notices the windows broken. Too little Too late.
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It's interesting, I will admit that. Though perhaps to make it a little more interesting there could be a bit more detail. Perhaps tell us how the man is feeling. We assume he's heavily depressed but assuming isn't what the reader is supposed to do, the reader is supposed to be told by the author what the character is feeling.
ReplyDeleteAdd just a little more detail, but whatr you have is good. More emotion is needed to make this story feel deeper than it already is. Even though it is obvious, the reader was never told is his tears are from happiness, relief, being sad, etc.
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