April 20, 2012

Bad Days and Nightmares

I have no voice today.
It sucks.                                
Why does my life have to be like this?
I ache in pain every day.
What else could go wrong?
…I could get hit by a truck, that would really suck.
… Or I could contract some awful south American disease, that would really really suck.
“My day is just not going well, at all.”
Maybe… Getting hit by a truck wouldn’t suck – and my suffering could finally end…
But, if I contract an awful South American disease, I’ll suffer; Maybe, I want to suffer…
The pain soothes my every movement as I slice the sharp blade across my wrist.
Then, I awoke from that awful dream; Sweat dripping down my face, I reach for a glass of water.
I’m still dreaming, but it’s nice to pretend the water is real.
The water on my sheets is real though, as I pee my bed for the sixth time this week.
I sigh, “Time to wash the sheets… again.”

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