January 6, 2012

this is a small piece of my Nanowrimo book

I had the strangest dream, that night… I was in a really old and, crappy building, and from what I dreamt of it was abandoned (except from the gangs that now used it). I was standing next to a young couple holding hands. They looked like they were in their mid-twenties, maybe a bit older.
The woman had an ageless look to her. For all I knew, she could be in her thirty’s. She had long brunette hair, the reached her waist. It was unbelievable though, because it was up in a ponytail.  Her eyes were a bright blue that looked brilliant and full of happiness. She wore a beautiful purple cocktail dress.
It was really fancy, which surprised me sense we were in this gross old building.
The man however was easy to know his age. He was definitely in his twenties. His black hair was a mess, but looked oddly fine and fitting. He too wore fancy clothing. His black dress pants and tucked in light purple shirt (matching the woman’s dress) and black tie fit together nicely.
Then the noise of a bottle smashing on the ground made me look around us. That’s when I realized that we were surrounded by a big circle of gang members.
One of the gang members had bumped into another and the second member dropped his beer bottle. I watched as the two men started arguing, both of them clearly drunk, but strong, and I thought they were going to start a fistfight, but instead both pulled out switch blades.
I man behind them pulled them apart. His was bigger than both of them and looked stronger.
“Stop fuckin’ fightin’! Jack’ll be pissed if he finds one of us dead when he gets here, no matter how happy Maya is making him right now. We’re here to kill, but not each other.”
I realized that all of the men were carrying weapons, like knives and even guns. Also they were all dressed in dirty-ish clothes, which were ripped. They were all talking amongst themselves, switching weapons and looking at the two people in the middle, evilly.
The couple in the middle, however, weren’t carrying weapons. Their clothes were a bit dirty, but I figured the gang had kidnapped them.
“What’s going on?” I asked the woman, tapping her shoulder, but my hand went right through her and she didn’t acknowledge my existence at all. Horrified, I decided to just ignore the fact that even happened, and continue to watch what would happen.
The woman in the middle tried hard not to show any fear in her face, in her body language, or anything… but she couldn’t trick anyone who looked in her eyes. She had dark blue eyes, with a darker rim around them. Her eyes had determination in them, but her worries covered most of the determination, no matter how much she tried to avoid that.
The man had no expression or emotion at all. None in his eyes, or his body language, or his face… there was just nothing, nothing at all. He looked as if he had lost all hope and meaning.
A big, tall man stepped out, in front of the circle, looking around waiting until everyone had stop talking and everything went completely silent. It was so quiet that it sounded like everyone was trying not to breath, as if afraid that they would be killed if this man heard them.
He was smoking a cigar and looked like he was the only one who wasn’t dirty, or carrying a weapon, in the sea of gang members. He looked powerful, kind of like a leader, which led me to believe that he was the leader of this gang. He took a moment to look around again before he began speaking to the couple and me. The must have been that Jack guy the other man, who pulled two men apart, had been talking about.
“I’m going to ask you this one more time…” Jack said slowly, and angry, toward the two in the middle of the circle. “Where. Is. The. Locket?!” he finished, pausing between each word and screaming the last.
All they did was glance at each other, and stayed silent. Then the man Jack snapped his fingers and the gang held up their weapons; some reloading guns, others aiming, some held up knives or daggers ready to throw them.
Then the women said, reluctantly and in a high-ish voice “We already told you… It’s at the hotel. I dropped it in the hall when you and your stupid gang came and kidnapped us. Somebody has probably stolen it by now.”
Her voice had shaken a little, but she mostly seemed confident and determined to stick with her story. She stood tall, and her face looked like she was going to be ready for anything.
“Katie, I swear, if you don’t stop your fucking lying…” Jack yelled, trailing off from the threat, now even angrier.
He waited for Katie to respond, but she didn’t. He glared back and forth, from Katie, to the man she was holding hands with.
Jack paused and then said “Fine! What about you Joey? Huh? Are you going to tell the truth? Or are you going to lie and let you and your wife die?” the leader said the man, Joey.
“I stand by my wife, Jack.” Was all the man said. He hung his head in shame, sounding more miserable than anyone I’ve ever met or heard, even though his voice was dull and very deep.
When he looked back up, you could see the obvious anger towards both himself, and Jack. I felt bad for him. He knew that if he was lying, not only he dies, but Katie also dies too. But he also knew that, odds are, if he tells the truth they’ll most likely die anyways.
“Fine, die along with your wife! We’ll find the locket on our own!” Jack yelled, his face turning red with fury. “Kill ‘em, boys!”
The gang started moving in, either getting ready to stab, or loading their guns.
I looked at Katie and Joey, as they whispered that they loved each other. Then I heard gunshots, and screams.
The dreams faded to black.
any suggestion on how to make this better? did the gang act...... "gangly" enough? lol. did you like it?

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