December 21, 2011

abnormal tournament

This is an excerpt from one of my stories. I'm looking for advice on how I can make this better and what doesn't need to be there.

The young woman looked around what appeared to be the main room of the building. She looked at the other people who had shown up. Each one had a different marking on them. One of the women had a dragon marking caressing her neck. As she looked around she saw a man with a tiger paw print on his cheek. There were several people around him that had the same marking. She didn’t see anyone with a spider web around one of their eyes.

“Draconia? You have a spider web as well?”

The young woman paused and turned to face her friend. She blinked when she saw that her friend had a spider web around one of her eyes. Draconia smiled and nodded. She paused then said, “Ricov, do you know what’s going on?”

Ricov shrugged and said, “Not really. I suspect they’ll tell us when they want to.”

“They?” Draconia asked raising an eyebrow, “You’ve seen them?”

“No. I assume that it’s a group of people because well how could a single person organize this?” Ricov said shrugging with her typical smile. Draconia closed her eyes and laughed. She waited a minute before she said, “Do you even know what this is?”


Draconia sighed and shook her head. She was less than enthused about this. They had all received a letter three weeks ago stating there would be a tournament on this day. When they had gotten there something strange had happened when they entered that room. Each person had a marking appear somewhere on their face or neck. She was about to speak to Ricov when a loud voice boomed out in the room from an unknown source.

“As you all may realize each one of you has a marking somewhere on you and that there are several others with similar markings. Those of you that have the same marking are now a team.”

Everyone looked around at each other and quickly found other people with similar markings. Ricov grabbed Draconia's arm and said, “Well it looks like it's just us buddy.”

“You can still read minds right Ricov?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Read mine right now.”

There was a moment of brief silence before Ricov gasped and smacked Draconia lightly across the head.

“You brat,” she said with a mock pout on her face. Draconia smirked then laughed.

“You know it.”

Their brief moment of fun was cut short by the voice booming out again.

“In a moment each group will go through the doors you see on the left side of the room. The rules of this tournament are simple. Rule One: You may only use what 'gifts' you may have. If you do not have any 'gifts' then you may only use what you have on your person. Rule Two: You may kill your opponents if you so choose. Rule Three: If you kill your team mates you will be disqualified and you will be dealt with accordingly. Anyone who fails to comply with these rules will be kicked out and forbidden to ever participate again.”

No comments:

Post a Comment