Students in Rob Greene's Creative Writing class are required to publish a piece of writing on this blog every Friday and comment on at least two of their peers' postings.
Hey "kayleeej!" Happy holidays to you and your family. So, let's get serious about this cinquain. Okay, so you chose to make this about a boyfriend. That could be cool I guess. I mean it's something people can relate to, especially if they have a boyfriend. The like "joking, playing, laughing" is really descriptive of something people would do with the perfect boyfriend. I feel that the last line is a little bit of a throw away. In my personal opinion, "Love him" is not exactly a synonym for boyfriend. This poem may be greatly altered in a positive manner if you chose to say something like "fuck buddy" or "lover" or something like that. Keep in mind that diction really affects a story. Choose all your words carefully to make sure you're putting the right message forward. Overall, this is a really good start kayleeej! I think you're a natural poet.