December 9, 2011

free write by joshua oliver

As i get home, I see my mom on the floor gasping for air, blood all around her. I dotn know exactly what the hell happened and what i should do?! I try to pick her up and bring her to her room to wrap her up while i dial 911. I get to her room and i see my dad, having my brothers at gun point. "dad what are you doing" Dad "ill do whatever the hell I want to do." Josh dont move or ill blow there brains out. "dad come on lets call 911 for mom." Boom im covered in my brothers guts and brains. He turns to him self shoots himself, as he falls the gun hits the floor and the shot fires right thru my moms chest. What now?

Do you guys like it?
Give me some concerns comments or anything
Thanks

1 comment:

  1. i thought it was a good short story. you got to the point relatively quickly and kept it simple. im not sure if the story has an actual meaning though. maybe if there was some sort of background or atleast a less questionable ending then it would have made more sense. but over all i liked what you wrote and how you wrote about it.

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