December 16, 2011

Serious Issues

This is writing exercise number eight, the day we had to write a story with the line: "I wish I hadn't eaten that stapler," John said. I was going to post a different story this week, but Manheim's complaint about all the stories on here being about him made me pick this one. Thoughts?

Jon screamed in pain, looked down at his stomach and groaned. "I wish I hadn't eaten that stapler," John said. "I at least should have taken the staples out first."
"Hey Jon have you seen the--" Mary stopped mid-sentence, seeing Jon laying on the ground. She was holding a stack of papers, but at the sight of Jon's pain she dropped them all.
"Mary, I uh, I'm..." Jon couldn't bring himself to finish. She knew what he was going to say anyway. He was "sorry", he would "stop". She'd heard it all before.
"We talked about this. You promised, Jon. You promised you were stop eating things that aren't food. We can't afford anymore trips to the hospital. Not after you lost your job. Remember?" She stared him in the face. "The job you lost because you ate all your boss's paper clips. And the paper tray from the printer."

2 comments:

  1. I love this so much. For some reason the best part was the 'She knew what he was going to say anyway. He was ''sorry'' he would "stop". She'd heard it all before.' It just served to make everything more hilarious. Well done.

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  2. This is hilarious. I love how you had her stop mid sentence when she saw him on the floor. The last part with the explanantion about how he lost his job was really amusing.

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