The last man on Earth sat alone and considered suicide. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Surprised, the man looked up. Could there really be someone else out there who was alive? Overjoyed, he answered the door. In front of him stood five U.S. army soldiers.
“Sir are you okay?” they said. “I’m ecstatic!” he said “I can’t believe there are people still alive on Earth. Are there many?” “Only about 200” the soldiers said “Come with us we’ll take you to the settlement.” “Ok” the man said “Just give me a minute to get my things.”
The man went back in his house and started to pack. He couldn’t believe there were still people alive on Earth. He went back out and got in the soldiers’ car. They had almost reached the settlement when out of the blue came a bright light. Within seconds the last survivors on Earth were dead. The last nuke went off.
That was what went through the man’s head as they were reaching the settlement. He was in shock that it didn’t happen. I guess things were really going to turn around he thought. Finally they drove into the settlement. The settlement really was what used to be the neighborhood filled with all the richer people from around the area. It was in shambles, but it was the best place to keep people.
How does this sound? Does it help draw you in?
Yeah, seems like it. I like the part where he imagines that the last nuke goes off, it really helped draw me in. I suggest you add in a little more descriptions and maybe some background as to why is even happened. Other than that, I like it.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to draw a reader in using simply a few hundred words, so considering that, I'd say you did a good job. I would suggest, though, to spread the use of narrative themes more. In order to draw in the reader, you could throw some unexpected twist in the plot as well; even so, the nuke idea was good, as it caught me by surprise. Nice job!
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