September 23, 2011

comeuppance scene two

Scene Two: THE MALL


sound: crowds at the mall, people talking, bags rustling, people walking around


JULIANNA


Hey Melissa wanna ditch the group and go try on shoes?


MELISSA


I kinda wanted to talk to Audrey. I haven't gotten to see her like, all summer.


JULIANNA


Come on. Don't be such a downer. Let's go.


SOUND: Footsteps


LAUREN


Do you know where Melissa and Julianna are? I haven't seen them in like an hour...


CHARLOTTE


No idea. I thought they were just gonna go get some lip gloss. Try calling.


SOUND: Julianna's phone ringing


MELISSA


Aren't you gonna answer that?


JULIANNA


Of course not. What's the point of ditching people if you're gonna answer when they call?


LAUREN


Julianna didn't pick up. I'm gonna try Melissa's phone.


SOUND: Melissa's phone ringing


MELISSA


Hello?


JULIANNA


(whispers/hisses)


What are you doing? Don't answer that. Don't tell them where we are. Tell them we're at Starbucks.


MELISSA


Hang on a sec Lauren.


(whispers to Julianna)


Starbucks is on the opposite side of the mall from us. What are you trying to do? Make them chase us around all day?


JULIANNA


Yes. It's fun.


MELISSA


Lauren, you still there?


LAUREN


Yeah I'm here. Where are you guys?


MELISSA


Julianna's at Starbucks. I'm gonna come see you guys. Where are you?


LAUREN


We're at the food court. See you in a sec.


MELISSA


Kay. See you.


SOUND: FOOTSTEPS


JULIANNA


Where are you going?


MELISSA


I told you I wanted to hang out with Audrey. Plus Lauren just called. I'm gonna go to the food court to see everyone. You can come if you want.


JULIANNA


I'm not coming. I don't even know which shoes I want yet.

3 comments:

  1. Did you ever decide which shoes she was going to wear?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really like this entry because it shows what a lot of teenage girls are like nowadays. I think the way you portray Julianna is very descriptive and it is easy to tell what her personality is like even though we have only read a little about her so far. I also appreciate that you didn't just make it a typical teenage drama, there's a lot of those out and about now. The wording was very descriptive and it was easy to get a sense of the scene early on. There were a few tiny grammar/punctuation errors, like lack of a comma etc. but would most likely be picked up if you read it through once more or something. Loved it overall!

    ReplyDelete
  3. hmm...kinda reminds me of Pretty Little Liars...hmmmm...

    ReplyDelete