September 30, 2011

The Fish-Smelling Coffee

The other day I was at my local Starbucks because one of my friends is a masochist and enjoys torturing himself with shitty coffee. When he came back to the table, he hasd a steaming cup of what smelled like steamy sex. "What the hell is that?" I asked. "Fish-flavored coffee bro." I told him that sounded disgusting and he continued to drink it anyway. Suddenly he grew gills and began suffocating. "Get me to an ocean." He yelled while gasping for air. "Oh I'll give you an ocean, an ocean of fire A-hold. I told you I hate Starbucks." I poured the lighter fluid from one of my lighters all over his face and using my zippo, lit him on fire. I walked away as my friend burned. The air smelled of death and fish-flavored coffee, but I couldn't tell which smell was which.


  1. This is pretty intense...more so than camping lol :). I like the quirky , eccentric concept you have going on. You took a strangely flavored coffee and added some badassness (badassity? badattitude?) to the subject. I like the vibe you gave it. I'm interested in the story and it made me chuckle. The dialogue was funny and the random development that the friend became a fish was cool. My only critique would probably have to be that I wish it was a bit longer. It was fun but I wanted a bit more behind it. Overall, it was really cool and written well.

  2. Over all, this piece has a good and brief plot to it. I like the description of your friend at the beginning of the piece, about how he loves torturing himself. Then, it quickly jumps to "steamy sex" which gives it another outlook to the disgusting coffee. Now, the next part was what I liked the best. With this coffee, he transformed himself, which really twists the plot here. I like the description and the cry for help as he is trying to get help But, at the end, your hate for coffee allows you to make the final decision to finally kill and burn your masochist friend. Great last line too!