September 30, 2011
The Fish-Smelling Coffee
The other day I was at my local Starbucks because one of my friends is a masochist and enjoys torturing himself with shitty coffee. When he came back to the table, he hasd a steaming cup of what smelled like steamy sex. "What the hell is that?" I asked. "Fish-flavored coffee bro." I told him that sounded disgusting and he continued to drink it anyway. Suddenly he grew gills and began suffocating. "Get me to an ocean." He yelled while gasping for air. "Oh I'll give you an ocean, an ocean of fire A-hold. I told you I hate Starbucks." I poured the lighter fluid from one of my lighters all over his face and using my zippo, lit him on fire. I walked away as my friend burned. The air smelled of death and fish-flavored coffee, but I couldn't tell which smell was which.