September 30, 2011

What I Left Behind

So this was one of our writing exercises (#17).

I smiled
I cried
I left
I lied
The world turned upside down

She smiled
She prayed
She promised
She paid
The world turned inside out

A heart stopping moment
A wonderful breath
I couldn't believe
Just what I left

Such beauty
A smile
A laugh
A broken heart promise at night

She smiled
I cried
She promised
I lied
She's what I left behind

Question: What did you feel reading this? Did the emotions come across well? Is there any way to make the emotions come across more clearly?


  1. Kerry, just like when you read this out loud, it almost brought tears to my eyes. It's such an amazing poem. I love the hidden honesty in it, with the speaker admitting he's lying and he's leaving.
    I also love how the stanzas are written. It has a nice beat, one that could easily be picked out by anyone. It's lovely, keep it up :)

  2. This is a excellent peom. I felt I could relate to the situation here. Well done(:

  3. I honestly could feel the emotions you are feeling. This was a good poem. I think the emotions came out good and how it was secret on what you left behind.
    good job.