Lights are dimmed and a dark shadow is stalking the three of them in the shadows of their walls. It seems like it’s trying to reach them but it can’t go through the dim light that is surrounding them. The creature is making this hissing noise and it seems to be saying a name. The creature is causing Erin to stir in her sleep. Like the creature is causing her pain by the expression on her face. Ryan wakes up and looks around, seeing nothing he gets up and turns the light off and returns to bed. Now that the lights were off the creature could reach Erin. It stared for a long moment as if it was just waiting. Then it started creeping towards the bed. Soon enough it was standing over her and it seemed to be staring at her again. It let out a high pitched scream causing the three of them to wake up. Erin was the first to see it. She screamed bloody murder. Cody & Ryan were to late waking up. The hooded creature was already fading out. An Erin was still screaming. Ryan grabbed a hold of her and tried calming her down and telling her to relax. Erin started crying and grabbing on to Ryan & Cody.
~How do I make it scarier and more realistic?~
Instead of using 'it' or 'them', replace it with a detailed decribtion of this monster that may or may not be real. Try to have a more dramatic opening aswell.
ReplyDeleteThe story goes by too quickly to be scary. To make things scarier you should drag the moment out. Describing the monster in detail would also make the story scarier and give the reader a better picture of the story. You might also consider breaking your sentences up into shorter segments.
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