September 23, 2011

Mystery Box

This is a short story I wrote for writing exercise 15. We had to create a story about a leather box with an iron lock. I'm looking for feedback on my writing style. Are the actions of my character realistic?

"What could be in this box" Tom thought to himself. "I have to find out." Tom went downstairs to his work shop. He grabbed an assortment of tools he thought would be useful in opening an old iron lock. He brought them upstairs and tried them out. First he tried to smash the lock with a sledge hammer but the lock was to strong ad was unaffected. He tried to cut it with a saw but the blade was no match for the lock and it broke. He tried each of the other tools one by one but they all failed to open the lock. He realized he couldn't open it by himself so he called his friend for help. Tom explained his situation and asked his friend what to do. His friend asked him what he box was made out of. Tom examined the box. "Leather. I think" replied Tom. "well" said his friend "just cut open the box." Tom felt stupid for not thinking of that. He got a box cutter from his basement and used it to cut a hole in the top of the box. He looked inside but couldn't see anything. He stuck his hand in to feel around. He found nothing. The box was empty. Tom wasted his whole day opening an empty box. Tom felt thoroughly disappointed and went to bed.

1 comment:

  1. i think the actions of your character are very realistic, they are things i could picture myself doing trying to open a locked box, especailly graveing tools.

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