September 30, 2011
"What I left behind"
When i was a young child I left behind my dad and all my family. There was no where else to go except to go live with my uncle and that was a disaster. I saw my dad this summer for the first time in 11 years.When i had to leave him it felt like I was leaving behind him again and i dont know when the next time i will see him again.
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to make it better: make it more detailed. it will also make it more interesting. like who else besdies your dad in your family did you leave behind? how was living with your uncle a disaster? and by this summer do you mean the summer of 2011? see i have mad questions to ask you.
ReplyDeleteIf this is true, I'm extremely sorry for you or your character. Life isn't always easy, especially keeping others in it. If you could maybe elaborate a bit more, the readers would have a better sense as to what's happening to who and why. Don't be scared to let the reader into your thoughts. I personally wanted to be able to understand what was happening to the fullest extent. Other then that, great job at writting about a difficult subject.
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