Here is an excerpt from my short story.
I wake up the next morning and I feel really nervous for no reason. I shouldn’t be this nervous until tomorrow. I leave for school and time flies by. Before I know it Sammy’s sleeping over my house preparing myself for tomorrow night. The nerves return and I can’t believe it’s less than twenty four hours until my date with Jeremy. My mom wasn’t happy with my initially because I wasn’t supposed to go out on Friday night but technically I didn’t go out. It’s also lucky that she loves Sammy like she was her own child.
The night flew by but I think that’s due to nerves.Saturday night quickly approaches me. I can’t believe that my date with Jeremy is in about three hours. I have to get ready. I hop into the shower and try to relax but it doesn’t work. About half an hour later I get out of the shower and blow dry my hair so it’s perfectly straight. I put on my new skinny jeans, a pair of white sandals, and a blue tank top with rhinestones on it. I put on minimal makeup, just some lip gloss and a little bit of blue eyeliner to make my blue eyes pop. I’m finally ready for my date with Jeremy. I hear a car horn and I quickly grab my white sweater in case it’s cold in the restaurant.
Ooooh, I like your short story (but I do love romance stories. ahah) It funny to see the girl nervous for her life and her best friend calming her down. (Every girl can relate to that. xD) I think this section of the short story would work better if you put some dialogue in it, and/or the girl could be a complete klutz while freaking out. I think that'll tell how nervous she is without you telling the reader that she is nervous. But it's really good! :)
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